Sexual Behaviour

Bidding for sex doll's virginity passes $100,000.

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From the Huffington Post:

Brazilian Sex Doll's Virginity: Bids For Valentina's Flower Surpass $105,000.

Would you spend more than $100,000 on a one night stand? Did we mention it's with a sex doll?

Well, apparently there are quite a few people in the world who would.

Sexônico, an online sex shop, has started a bidding war for the virginity of Valentina, Brazil's first life-like sex doll. So far, the bids for the faux lady's flower have surpassed $105,000.

According to a Huffington Post translation of the website, whoever places the highest bid before March 31 -- when the auction ends -- will win the full romantic package, which includes:

  • A night in the presidential suite of Motel Swing [a pay-by-the-hour motel] in the city of São Paulo
  • A special candlelit dinner with French champagne
  • An aromatic bath with rose petals
  • Roundtrip flights (if you don't live in Sao Paulo)
  • Special lingerie (this is for her!)
  • A digital camera so you can film and after show it to your friends

As Gawker notes, Sexônico posted the offering ahead of the first international convention of inflatable dolls, a four-day expo which began Wednesday in Brazil. Valentina will be unveiled in real life -- so to speak -- for the first time at the event.

Unlike other sex dolls, Brazil's first "real doll" features skin that's similar in texture to human skin.

"She has green eyes, fleshy lips, full breasts and a body that inspires envy in all women," Sexônico describes on its website.

While the current price of Valentina's virginity is nowhere near the $780,000 Catarina Migliorini, a 20-year-old Brazilian woman, won for her v-card, with a$5,000 starting bid, the auction has certainly taken off. Bidders can make their offers online, but they must use their real names so they'll be obligated to pay.

View the NSFW photos of Valentina on Sexônico's website.

Research from Match.com.

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Back in 2011 Match.com, a massive online dating site, bought OKCupid, another massive online dating sites. Someone at OKCupid, being a total data dork and genius, started analyzing data the site collected and published the findings on the OKCupid blog, OKTrends. It was amazing, and became very popular. I've posted about it before (here, here, here and here). When Match.com bought OKCupid, they were smart enough to keep the blog going, albeit under a new name (link here). They've started creating videos based on their data. Here is the most recent one: 

Starring Tim Dunn, Jim Santangeli and Matt Gehring www.r-d-media.com

They also still publish their data in text format, too. Here's some recent data on FWB relationships:

Friends with Benefits: An Emerging Stage in Romance? 47% of singles are have had a friend with benefits relationship in the past (40% of women and 53% of men). More than ever before, friends with benefits are turning into long-term relationships (2012: 44%, 2011: 20%).

More than ever before, singles are having friends with benefits situations and one-night stands:

One-night stand: 2011: 13%; 2012: 54% Friends with benefits: 2011: 20%; 2012: 47% One Night Stands

1/3 (33%) of singles have had a one-night stand turn into a relationship; more men than women (35% vs. 30%) have experienced this 1/3 of singles (31%) had a one-night stand last year (2012) 44% of single women have had a one-night stand in their past 63% of single men have had a one-night stand in their past

Much more here.

The Straight Girl's Guide to Gay Sex.

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I'm not sure why, but it seems like straight women are more interested in gay sex than gay men are. So I've decided to answer five of the most common questions I've been asked about gay sex by straight women.

And an important comment from the comment section:

The subject of this video is NOT gay sex - its gay ANAL sex. If people think anal sex is all gay men do sexually they are totally misinformed. It's not even the most dominant form of sexual intercourse among gay men. Many gay men, including myself, prefer other things. Anal intercourse is just one of the menu items, and as with any menu item some people only order that, some like it often, some like it once in a while to change things up, and some really don't like it at all.

Josey Vogels talks about being too busy for sex.

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Josey Vogels is Canada's best known sexpert. She writes two sex advice columns, has authoured several books and is regular contributor on radio, TV and on the web. She recently sat down with Q guest host Jann Arden to discuss sex for busy couples.

From the CBC:

The start of a romantic relationship can be intense and exciting -- a time filled with an abundance of passion, desire, and a lot of times, sex. But as time passes with the same partner, the intimate connection can also fade. The focus shifts from romantic gestures to asking, "why there are socks on the floor?"

The lack of spark between long-term couples is why Canadian sex expert Josey Vogels wrote Better Sex in No Time: A Guide for Busy Couples. There are a ton of sex and relationships books on the market. With this one, Vogels wanted to address what she sees as a universal problem.

In an interview on Q with guest host Jann Arden, Vogels says her book is about getting down to the basics: What is intimacy in a relationship? What does it mean to stay connected? How do you keep intimacy in your relationship one gesture at a time?

"Romance is whatever it takes in your relationship to make your partner feel appreciated, like you're noticing them and that you still care that they're there," she says.

The way romance is portrayed in pop culture hasn't helped.

"You see in movies these huge gestures and romances like a man in tights playing a lute. It's these weird abstract ideas of romance. It's really intimidating for men because they don't know what the heck it is, and women have this weird idea about what it is because they've been fed all this garbage in movies and what it should be."

Everyone thinks everyone else is having more sex than them. Vogels tells them to stop thinking about others and to focus on their own relationship.

"It's important to reenergize the brain pattern we had at the beginning. I always tell women to start thinking with their genitals a little bit. Try to rekindle that sexual being inside yourself."

She says it's the simple things that matter and to focus on the positive. Be kind to one another. Verbalize the things you like about the partner. Hold hands and kiss each other. Dress up for dinner. If you're going to wear pyjamas, make them silk.

"Put yourself in a sexual frame of mind once in a while. You need to take care of your sexual being."

Listen to the interview here.

On being a girl.

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This came via Dodson and Ross; it originally came from reddit (/r/offmychest). The responses to the original post are very worth the read, too, with many women sharing their varied positive and negative experiences growing up. Click here.

I am not excusing rudeness, but here it is from the perspective of a hot young girl:

You go through your childhood without any sexual overtures being made at you (hopefully). You wear jeans with reinforced knees and hair clips. The only thing anyone expects of your looks is to wipe the ketchup off your face once in a while and maybe bathe sometimes. Life is good.

Then you hit puberty and start to sprout lumps and bumps and you have no idea what to do with any of them, but everyone is noticing and commenting and making you very very aware of them. Your clothes stop fitting, your friends are putting black goop on their eyelashes and that awful fruity lip gloss that tastes like microwaved jelly beans, and worst of all, boys are looking at you. Not just the old "ew, a girl, cooties!" looking. They are looking at your chest and your behind and everything in between. The rude ones will comment and the even ruder ones will get grabby. You feel scared and inexplicably dirty.

As you grow, those boys will get bolder and pushier. And not just boys-- men, years or even decades older than you. They will look you up and down, analyzing your body like you are a shelf in the supermarket. They yell at you from cars and construction sites and sidewalks, leer at you in class, even insult you online (TITS or GTFO anyone?). You may have your first boyfriend. If you're lucky, he won't pressure you into sex before you're ready. If you're lucky, your friends won't find out and call you a slut or a whore or God knows what else.

You keep growing. You learn caution and who to ignore. You may become a little paranoid-- that nice man behind the checkout counter, is he making small talk or flirting? Did he just look at your chest again? You remember the time you were nice to that boy in class who invited you to a party and then tried to reach up your dress. You have the sinking feeling that the way you look makes you public property, diminishing anything else you might have to offer.

And yes, some girls will get rude, or touchy, or jump to conclusions, because they have been through this so many times it has become a wall, a suit of armor, to protect themselves. Even if they have nothing to fear, they don't know you, and fear is one of the first things women are taught to carry with them. It isn't you-- it's what led up to it. Again, I don't excuse it, but do try to understand.

Young evangelicals changing perspectives on sexual politics.

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From Buzzfeed:

Are Young Evangelicals Sick Of Sexual Politics?
“They're not interested in a spirituality that helps them become culture warriors,” says one pastor. “They want to repair the culture.”
Ricky, a 21-year-old evangelical Christian college student, isn't necessarily committed to abstinence before marriage: "If two people are in love and are willing to take the next step, I believe God would approve." He respects both sides of the abortion debate, but thinks churches shouldn't have a say in the matter. And he's an enthusiastic supporter of gay marriage; he thinks Christian opposition to it will be "a black eye on our religion for decades."
He may be progressive, but Ricky isn't alone. A variety of experts say young evangelicals care less and less about the issues of sexual politics — abstinence, abortion, and same-sex marriage — that their forebears brought to the center of the political conversation. And churches that keep focusing on these issues may risk becoming obsolete.
A study released in December by the National Association of Evangelicals found that 44% of unmarried 18-29-year-old evangelicals had been sexually active — but the study defined "evangelical" as someone who attends church at least monthly, believes Jesus Christ is the only path to salvation, and believes the Bible "is accurate in all that it teaches," requirements that may leave out some who still consider themselves part of the group. Another study puts the figure at 80 percent. And a recent poll found that 44% of 18-29-year-old evangelicals favor same-sex marriage, lower than the national figure but much higher than their elders.
Jonathan Merritt, author of A Faith of Our Own: Following Jesus Beyond the Culture Wars, sees a shift from an older ideal of virginity — where "you either had it or you didn't" — to a new ethic of purity which acknowledges that lapses may happen. And he sees a bigger change afoot: "The last generation was very focused on personal holiness. This generation also focuses on the outward expressions of the faith."

Read the rest here.

The University of Toronto Sexual Education Centre holds party at sex club.

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From the Toronto Star:

University of Toronto student group hosts “epic sex club adventure”
It’s being billed online as an epic student sex club adventure — and in other corners of the web, a student orgy.
The University of Toronto Sexual Education Centre (SEC) is kicking off its annual Sexual Awareness Week next Monday at Oasis Aqua Lounge, a downtown club that bills itself as a water-themed adult playground, where swingers are welcome and sex is allowed everywhere but the hot tub.
“U of T is holding an orgy, and you’re invited! You just need your student ID” one Reddit userposted in a University of Waterloo forum.
“Our executive director made it very clear that this is not an orgy, we’re not funding an orgy,” says external education and outreach co-ordinator Dylan Tower, 22, as he sits inside the sixth-floor office of SEC. “People are allowed to have sex on premise … there is not any type of ‘You should be having sex when you’re here.’ It’s very much, come and enjoy the space, there’s no prodding or pushing in that direction.”
The event begins in the daytime, and organizers are asking students to keep their clothes on until 7 p.m., when the “party becomes clothing-optional so you can get naked with all your new friends.”
SEC is an affiliated levy group of the University of Toronto Students Union. Undergraduate students pay .25 cents a term for the services, and can opt out if they choose.
The group’s mission is to foster a sex-positive attitude in the greater U of T area, by offering information, programming, safer-sex supplies, and peer counselling in a welcoming environment. Their sexual awareness week includes a discussion on sex positivity, an interactive sex toy demonstration and an afternoon of pornography. The first event is the party at Oasis: the organization rented the club and lowered the price to $5 a person. (Admission for couples is normally $80.)
Tower said it is a safe and cheaper way to introduce curious students to the sex club scene in Toronto. The group plans to provide a “myriad of safer-sex supplies” so “everyone can be as safe as possible” and volunteers will circulate to “make sure everyone is respectful and having the best experience Oasis has to offer,” he posted online, addressing concerns.
[...]
When asked whether it was a U of T-sanctioned event, and whether the university had any concerns, a spokesperson responded with an emailed statement: “The University will not attempt to censor, control or interfere with any group on the basis of its philosophy, beliefs, interests or opinions expressed, unless and until these lead to activities which are illegal or which infringe the rights and freedoms.”

Read the entire article, and the raging debate in the comments section, here.

Another new study on pubic hair styling.

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From the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Abstract:

Introduction.  Pubic hair removal is prevalent among women in the United States. However, most studies related to pubic hair removal are based on cross-sectional surveys and retrospective recall. Aim.  The purpose of this research was to, in a prospective event-level daily diary study, assess demographic, affective, relational, situational, and behavioral factors related to women's pubic hair removal. Method.  Data collection occurred as part of a 5-week prospective, Internet-based daily diary study. Main Outcome Measures.  Age; Affective predictors (positive mood, negative mood, feeling interested in sex, feeling in love); Relational predictors (partner support, partner negativity, partner type, partner gender); Situational predictors (any vaginal symptoms, use of any vaginal hygiene products; having applied any creams to the genitals); Behavioral variables (penile-vaginal sex, penile-anal sex, had finger inserted into vagina, had clitoris stimulated with fingers, inserted toy into vagina, used vibrator on clitoris, inserted finger into anus, inserted toy into anus, duration of penetration, intensity of penetration). Results.  A total of 2,453 women ages 18 to 68 (mean age 32.69) completed the study, contributing 49,287 total diaries (mean per person 24.5; standard deviation 10.3, median 30); 15.2% of all days (N = 7,362) involved pubic hair waxing or shaving, with the vast majority of hair removal days involving shaving (N = 7,302; 99%). Pubic hair removal was significantly associated with younger age, a greater interest in sex, vaginal fingering, finger-clitoral stimulation, having a casual sex partner, using vaginal hygiene products, and applying cream to the genitals. Hair removal was marginally associated with longer duration of vaginal penetration. Conclusions.  These findings provide greater insight into the factors associated with women's pubic hair removal and their sexual experiences on a day-to-day level. Clinical and educational implications are discussed.

Full reference:

Herbenick, D., Hensel, D., Smith, N.K., Schick, V., Reece, M., Sanders, S.A., & Fortenberry, J.D. (2012). Pubic Hair removal and sexual behavior: Findings from a prospective daily diary study of sexually active women in the United States. Journal of Sexual Medicine. doi: 10.1111/jsm.12031. [Epub ahead of print]

The Pervocracy: The Myth of the Boner Werewolf

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From The Pervocracy:

There's a pernicious myth out there that the male sex drive is unstoppable and irresistible--that once a man is aroused, he literally cannot control his actions. We tell jokes about "thinking with the other head" and "all the blood went out of his brain" that aren't entirely jokes. We have a cultural narrative in which sexual arousal makes a man into a goddamn werewolf.
And we expect women to tiptoe around this uncontrollable male sexuality. We tell them to watch how they dress, lest they wake the beast. We tell them "some guys can't control themselves"--not won't, but can't. We tell them to be careful what they start, because they'll be expected to finish it. Hell, way too often we outright tell them that they have no right to withdraw consent once sex has started.
My response to myths like this, more and more, is "shit, if I believed that, I'd never have sex with a man again." I wonder if the story would change if more guys realized that saying "if a woman gets me turned on, she'd better be ready to go all the way" is the same as saying "getting me turned on is dangerous, better not take the risk."
Then again, I wonder why more men aren't just insulted by the whole concept. If someone started telling stories about how my gender was controlled by our genitalia and sexual arousal turns us into rapist automatons, I would be outraged. I would explain in very small, very loud words that I am a person and I can goddamn control myself. I wish more men would speak up to say "actually, even when I can't turn my erection off, I can sure as hell use the rest of my body to put it somewhere it won't bother anyone."
I wish our culture prized self-control as much as it does virility, and even more, I wish our culture didn't act like they were opposites. Even I can't 100% shake the worry that the story at the top makes Rowdy sound desexualized or submissive, (or super nice and extra feminist, rather than "bare minimum of human decency") even though all it describes is him not raping me.
Men aren't rollercoasters. They aren't werewolves. They aren't walking penises. They're people. They make decisions. Let's stop talking about "he couldn't stop himself" and start talking about "he decided not to stop." Men deserve that dignity, and the responsibility that comes with it.

Autoandrophilia.

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Autogynephilia is a "man’s paraphilic tendency to be sexually aroused by the thought or image of himself as a woman" (Blanchard, 2004). Someone asked if the same phenomenon exists in women. A student from class did some poking around on the CrossDreamers website and found some case studies of autoandrophiliacs, or women who are turned on by thinking of themselves as men. Here is one of the cases:

She enjoyed having sex as a woman with men but also particularly enjoyed living out her sexual fantasy of being male with a penis. She was a self-declared bisexual who, apart from having sex with Robert [her husband] and other couples, would also go off to visit female sex workers herself. She particularly enjoyed the fantasy of raping someone else. This was generally played out with female sex workers who would be accommodating and compliant with the fantasy to her satisfaction. The only male she carried out this sex fantasy with was her husband Robert and at the time of penetrating him she said she clearly envisioned herself as a man with a penis, dominant, powerful and aggressive. Clair was quite clear that although she might run these fantasies in her mind they were just sexual fantasies.

There are several others, all worth reading. You can find them here.

Dan Savage and the straight man.

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From the Atlantic:

Dan Savage: The Gay Man Who Teaches Straight People How to Have Sex
One of the Savage Love columnist's most notable qualities is his concern for heterosexual men—but that wasn't always the case.
Two summers ago, over the Fourth of July weekend, the New York Times Magazine published a cover story I had written about infidelity and the future of marriage. My main character was Dan Savage, the writer and activist who for years has argued that many good marriages fall apart because couples have unrealistic expectations about monogamy. For months after my essay ran, I heard from friends, and from total strangers. Some of the mail was creepy: I got letters from two husbands who said they had been trying to broach the subject of an open marriage with their wives, and now they were hoping that, by leaving my article lying about the house, they could casually segue into the topic. But most of the letters were sweet and sincere and not the least bit unctuous. One newlywed woman, a neighbor of mine, saw me on my street and said, "Thanks for that piece. Dan Savage has meant a lot to me, and to my marriage."
As it happened, almost every person who wrote or spoke to me about the piece was heterosexual. Dan Savage is famously gay, one of the most famous gay Americans, and I had no idea how deeply many straight people related to him—even more, how much they loved him, how grateful they were for what he said, for what he wrote, for him.
Savage promotes the nuclear family unit because he believes that it is a healthy model for everybody: gay couples, straight couples, children. But his cheerleading for heterosexuals goes even further. He always seems to be rooting for us. I believe that one of Savage's most notable qualities is the particular compassion he feels for straight men.
But Savage did not always feel so warmly. After a rough adolescence, he expected to find a little company in the theater department in college, and he was a bit perplexed, he recalls, to be "the only gay guy in the acting program." After college, "all these other guys in the acting program came out. That made me mad at straight people." Blaming straight people for closeted gay people does not make immediate sense, but remember that it was the mid-1980s, gay men were filling the graveyard, Ronald Reagan was doing nothing, and an out, proud gay identity was one possible munition against the enemy. If straight people were shaming gay people into the closet, fuck straight people.
"I started writing Savage Love still really mad at straight people," Savage says. "But getting their mail. . . . It's really straight guys who get the bum rap. The way straight people have redefined marriage, and the way they define sexuality, it's really unrealistic about male sexuality.
"And reading letters from straight guys made me hugely sympathetic to straight guys. And I was already sympathetic to straight women, because men are pigs and I sleep with men so know what that's like. I arrived sympathetic to straight women—I became sympathetic to straight men, reading these bat-shit letters from straight guys who were being terrorized and being driven crazy, because sex is scarce if you're a straight guy. It's not scarce if you have a pussy or if you're a fag. But if you're a straight guy?
"Straight guys run the world, but that includes the Taco Bell franchise. They're less free sexually than anybody else. The girl who eats pussy once or twice in college can tell her husband, and he's not going to believe she's a lesbian, and she is not going to be terrorized by that experience. But these poor straight guys, who meet the one guy who blips onto their sex radar, and they're devastated! They think no matter how much sex they've had with women, this is proof . . . because straight male sexuality is two negatives bundled together: it's to not be a woman and to not be a fag. So anything a straight guy might be interested in that is perceived as feminine or faggy is really destabilizing to their selves.
"After reading their letters for a couple years, I realized gay men and women were complicit in this too. If you've had sex once with a man, they say you're gay. Gay men want you to be gay—if you look like Tom Cruise. There is not a lot of speculation whether Seth Rogen is gay. I fucked women. Nobody ever says to me, 'Oh, you couldn't have done that if you weren't actually straight."'
And soon enough Savage had a lot in common with the average straight guy. He is a breadwinner in a fairly traditional marriage, with a son and a stay-at-home spouse. He is, to me, a fellow dad, one whose heart clearly lies with the two-parent family with children. As I learned in Seattle, he is one of the few men as boringly earnest on the pleasures of parenting as I am; he is adoring of his husband, Terry, and much of his finest work—his books, his This American Life essays—are hymns to close relatives.
Right now, Dan Savage is our country's sex doctor and its love doctor, its number-one gay and its cheerleader for straights, its theorist of gay marriage and of straight marriage. There is, therefore, nothing particularly gay about the work he does at the moment; he has transcended those categories. And that is a feat only a gay man or lesbian could accomplish. I could never win the kind of acceptance as an authority on gay sex, or gay families, that Savage has won among straights. Our very few openly gay actors cannot get cast as straight leading men—they may be tolerated, even loved, but they are still marked—but Savage has broken free of the box. He is, I think, the first openly gay American to do so.
"One should never underestimate the simple radicalism of an openly gay man giving straight people sex advice," Andrew Sullivan told me. "To come out swinging like that, as an openly gay guy telling straight people what to do in bed, was more revolutionary than we now realize." It's true; I never realized it.
When I am watching Dan Savage, or listening to him, or reading his words, I never even think about the revolution. I just think about sex, or I think about love. How radical is that.
This is an excerpt from Dan Savage: The First Gay Celebrity, by Mark Oppenheimer, an e-book that can be purchased here.

The sex lives of conjoined twins.

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From the Atlantic:

One thing we know for sure about the sexuality of conjoined twins: People who aren't conjoined are fascinated by it. At least it seems that way, judging by the number of reporters calling me to ask about the sex lives of conjoined twins since the TLC reality show Abby and Brittany went on the air several weeks ago. As I've told callers, although there are no real studies of the sex lives of conjoined twins, we can safely assume that conjoined twins want -- and occasionally feel conflicted about wanting -- sex, as we all do.

[...]

Sex is often mentioned by commentators on conjoinment as one of the beautiful things supposedly made instantaneously horrible by conjoinment. I'm afraid I just laughed when, in writing a book on conjoined twins, I came across this 1984 line by a nurse writing in a medical journal: "Two people never being able to obtain privacy to bathe, excrete, copulate, or eat defies imagination."

Surgeons sometimes openly allude to sexuality as a motivator for separation surgery. In 2002, as soon as he had made the cut separating two little girls joined at the head, the neurosurgeon involved paused to announce to the assembled medical team, "We now have two weddings to go to." Indeed, when I talked to contemporary surgeons about how they decide whether to undertake the substantial risks some separations involve, I found that surgeons had two fears, sort of conjoined: one, that twins would grow up conjoined and thus never have sex; two, that twins would grow up conjoined and actually have sex.

[...]

So, I suppose I should get to what the people really want to know: what do conjoined twins feel when they have sex? If one is sexually stimulated, does the other feel it? If one has an orgasm, does the other enjoy the same, however unwittingly?

The short answer is that we don't know. Conjoined twins, like the rest of us, tend not to talk in great depth publicly about their most intimate moments. Based on what we know about the significant variability of one conjoined twin to feel a body part (e.g., an arm) that putatively "belongs" to the other twin, it's hard to guess how any conjoinment will turn out in practice. Nerves, muscles, hormones, and psychology all probably factor in to who feels what. If twins share one set of genitals, they're both going to feel any touching down there. Whether or not both are "having sex" with the third person in the equation depends on how you think about "having sex."

Read the whole article here.

Documentary: Virgins Wanted.

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As far as I can tell, this is legit (check the crazy terms and agreements here - of course, they got the hymen aspect totally wrong). Trailer:

Virgins Wanted follows one man (Alex) and one woman (Catarina) as they defy social norms, putting their virginity up for auction to the highest bidder. The series examines their motivations behind remaining virgins, as well as their day to day lives and their hopes and dreams for the future.

 

The homepage is here.

Currently, the highest bid for Catarina is $450,000 - the highest bid for Alexander is $2,500. This massive difference is not surprising. If you rule out attractiveness, there are likely two other factors at play: (1) men's interest in, and willingness to, pay for sex; and (2) that women's virginity is considered a much more valuable asset than men's.

The elk who loved cows (too much).

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From the Huffington Post (and posted elsewhere):

100 Mile House Lovestruck Elk Stripped Of Crown, Mating Partner

100 MILE HOUSE, B.C. - Somewhere east of this Cariboo community wanders an enormous bull elk, stripped of its crown of six-point antlers and a misplaced attraction for one of Greg Messner's cows.

The elk, a loner that had been turning up at the century-old 100 Mile Ranch to check out Messner's herd for three years, was relocated earlier this month for its own safety and for the probity of the cow.

"He stuck around for a couple of days the first year," said Messner, whose wife has had the ranch in her family for its entire history.

"Then last year, he was just hanging around again for a couple of weeks and not really doing anything, just hanging around and looking at the cows. This year, he decided to go for it."

Messner said the elk's visits have been a curiosity. Elk are so rare in the area that Messner and anyone else who stopped by to have a look at the impressive creature in the pasture simply call it The Elk.

"It's kind of like the Queen," Messner explained. "There's only one of them."

This year, the beast decided to stay a while and ended up mingling in the herd for about two months during its rutting season.

One of Messner's cows was also in heat and the pair became a freakish but constant spectacle.

"If you were there watching, it would be an X-rated movie. Several times a day," Messner said through a chuckle.

"He was pretty aggressive. He'd put his head down with his great big antlers and poke the little calves and push them away and send them for a little ride once in a while and flick them around."

Messner estimated the elk at about six feet tall and four feet wide and weighing about half a tonne.

He said he finally called a biologist at the University of Northern British Columbia after inquiries from neighbours about whether his cow could have been impregnated by the elk.

"He had a huge rack, but he was too well-endowed by chromosomes," Messner said.

Messner was told an elk has eight more chromosomes than a cow, making the likelihood of a hybrid calf a near impossibility.

But it wasn't the amorous nature of the elk that finally prompted Messner to break up what he called "the harem" in his pasture.

The ranch is bordered by the highway and cars were stopping as passengers tried to get a look at the amorous ungulate, which from time to time would hop from one side of the pasture fence to the other.

Messner said the final straw was when hunters turned up, the lure of a six-point rack potentially dangerously enticing.

"Trucks were pulling over and people were watching this poor elk through the scope of their gun and people were doing U-turns on the highway. It was becoming a real dangerous situation."

Messner called in the conservation officer. He, the officer and two RCMP officers sedated the elk and removed its antlers to make it less appealing to hunters and less of a threat to the cows should it decide to return.

The elk was then loaded into a truck and taken about 20 kilometres out of town, towards the mountains.

"I kind of think he will be back next year," said Messner.

Orientation, identity and sex all explained in less than 4 minutes.

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This has been making the rounds: 

In which Hank takes on a topic he's been afraid to cover for a while now. How should we talk about sexuality, what is the difference between sex and gender...and between sexual orientation and sexual behavior. It's very interesting...and I think understanding it is a key to decreasing the amount of hate and self-hate out there.

Film: The Sessions.

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Sex surrogacy is a very controversial type of sex therapy. The role of the surrogate is to have sex with the client, the purpose being to foster therapeutic gains. The type of sex, and the interpersonal context of that sex, depends on the client's presenting problem. The sex surrogate is typically part of a therapeutic team, working alongside a psychologist, clinical counsellour or sex therapist. The Sessions is a soon-to-be released film about a handicapped man who wants to lose his virginity. Virginity isn't a psychological problem, obviously; however, with the help of his therapist and the support of his priest, he seeks out a sexual surrogate to meet his needs. The film has been getting good reviews (link here).

The trailer:

http://www.joblo.com - "The Sessions" - Official Trailer Based on the poignantly optimistic autobiographical writings of California-based journalist and poet Mark O'Brien, THE SESSIONS tells the story of a man confined to an iron lung who is determined--at age 38--to lose his virginity.

One comment: After hearing from women who have done sex work, I think it's somewhat problematic that Helen Hunt's character draws a distinction between herself and a "prostitute," as if what she does is more legitimate or commendable. She's still providing sex and intimacy for money, which is nothing to be ashamed of. And if you talk to sex workers, at least the ones that aren't survival sex workers, they'll tell you that many of their clients work through the same sort of issues with their sex worker providers as clients would with their sex surrogates. It's just not in the context of official therapy.