John Oliver's poignant and funny take-down of bad sex ed and the abstinence-only approach.

Sex education is a highly contentious topic, even though it shouldn't be. Generally speaking, sex education is poor. Even the best comprehensive sex ed programs focus on risk and risk mitigation, with no attention paid to all other aspects of sex or relationships. Most sex ed is non-existent, superficial, or perhaps even worse, is based on the abstinence-only model. But Canada is still better than the US.

In this segment John Oliver provides biting and humorous commentary on the current state of sex ed.

Sex education varies widely between school districts, leaving many teens without comprehensive information. We made a video that covers what some schools are too embarrassed to teach. Connect with Last Week Tonight online..

Porn sex versus real sex.

The stats are a bit off - most are underestimates compared to findings from recent research - but the message still stands.

If you've ever watched porn, and if you've ever had sex, you know that the two are very different. But what are the differences, specifically? Whet your appetite and watch the video!

The reality of marriage and long-term committed relationships.

Many people enter into marriages and long-term committed relationships not realizing that it takes a lot of work. There will be times when things feel desperate, and when conflict seems to be overwhelming and insurmountable. This doesn't mean that partners love each other any less or that their relationships are doomed.

In this piece published by the New York Times, Ada Calhoun provides a reality check about marriage and long-term committed relationships, but also shares why it's all worth it. Here are some excerpts:

I want to say that one day you and your husband will fight about missed flights, and you’ll find yourself wistful for the days when you had to pay for only your own mistakes. I want to say that at various points in your marriage, may it last forever, you will look at this person and feel only rage. You will gaze at this man you once adored and think, “It sure would be nice to have this whole place to myself.”

[…]

The longer you are with someone, the more big and little “and yets” rack up. You love this person. Of course you plan to be with him or her forever. And yet forever can begin to seem like a long time. Breaking up and starting fresh, which everyone around you seems to be doing, can begin to look like a wonderful and altogether logical proposition.

But “and yet” works the other way, too. Even during the darkest moments of my own marriage, I have had these nagging exceptions. And yet, we still make each other laugh. And yet, he is still my person. And yet, I still love him.

And so you don’t break up, and you outlast some more of your friends’ marriages.

[…]

At weddings, I do not contradict my beaming newlywed friends when they talk about how they will gracefully succeed where nearly everyone in human history has floundered. I only wish I could tell them they will suffer occasionally in this marriage — and not only sitcom-grade squabbles, but possibly even dark-night-of-the-soul despair.

That doesn’t mean they are doomed to divorce, just that it’s unlikely they will be each other’s best friend every single minute forever. And that while it’s good to aim high, it’s quite probable they will let each other down many times in ways both petty and profound that in this blissful moment they can’t even fathom.

But I would go on to say (had I not by that point been thrown out of the banquet hall): Epic failure is part of being human, and it’s definitely part of being married. It’s part of what being alive means, occasionally screwing up in expensive ways. And that’s part of what marriage means, sometimes hating this other person but staying together because you promised you would. And then, days or weeks later, waking up and loving him again, loving him still.

Read the whole piece here.

Male strippers strip for boost in self-esteem.

A new study published in the academic journal Deviant Behavior, and reviewed in PsyPost:

“Initially women who dance for men may experience a boost in self-esteem, but after time they suffer from a diminished self-concept,” said Scull. “My research finds that men who dance for women generally experience positive feelings of self-worth. So much so, that men will continue to strip even when it is no longer financially lucrative.”

Scull suggests these gendered differences are due to the fact that men and women ascribe different meanings to the objectification they experience while stripping. Female dancers may be more inclined to define sexual objectification as negative, because as women, they experience it more frequently than men.

Males, on the other hand, enjoy being objectified by audience members, Scull found. They did not define objectification with disempowerment and instead noted that they felt positive about being desirable.

Read the rest here.

Gay marriage legalized in the US

Today is a historic day for the LGBT community and its allies. The Supreme Court of the US ruled that it is unconstitutional for states to ban same sex marriage. Essentially, this means same sex marriages are now legal across the US. Congratulations USA! And welcome to the club.

In honour of today's decision, here's a gif depicting changes in laws concerning same sex marriage, over time and location.

Gender equality within relationships a sex killer?

This article was published a while back in the New York Times. It's a great, thought-provoking (and controversial) read about changing gender power dynamics within opposite sex relationships, and its impact on sex and sexual satisfaction. It's a long read, but worth it. The comments are really interesting, too, with some alternate perspectives and explanations represented. Someone I spoke with also suggested that the phenomenon described could be better accounted for by differences between women's and men's sexual desire. Especially in long-term relationships, women's sexual desire tends to be more reactive than spontaneous (this is central to Basson's female sexual desire model). So in an egalitarian relationship, in which responsibility for initiating sex is shared, you would expect to see a decline in sex compared to a relationship in which the male partner decides when sex happens.

From the NY Times:

Does a More Equal Marriage Mean Less Sex? By Lori Gottlieb

[…]

A study called “Egalitarianism, Housework and Sexual Frequency in Marriage,” which appeared in The American Sociological Review last year, surprised many, precisely because it went against the logical assumption that as marriages improve by becoming more equal, the sex in these marriages will improve, too. Instead, it found that when men did certain kinds of chores around the house, couples had less sex. Specifically, if men did all of what the researchers characterized as feminine chores like folding laundry, cooking or vacuuming — the kinds of things many women say they want their husbands to do — then couples had sex 1.5 fewer times per month than those with husbands who did what were considered masculine chores, like taking out the trash or fixing the car. It wasn’t just the frequency that was affected, either — at least for the wives. The more traditional the division of labor, meaning the greater the husband’s share of masculine chores compared with feminine ones, the greater his wife’s reported sexual satisfaction.

[…]

Brines believes the quandary many couples find themselves in comes down to this: “The less gender differentiation, the less sexual desire.” In other words, in an attempt to be gender-neutral, we may have become gender-neutered. It’s interesting to note that when I asked Justin Garcia, a research scientist at the Kinsey Institute, whether lack of gender differentiation affects the sex lives of gay couples, he said that male couples, who have more sex than lesbian couples, tend to differentiate by choosing partners sexually unlike themselves — who, say, want to be in the more submissive sexual position — and that lesbians don’t follow as much of a pattern of seeking their sexual opposites. I posed the same question to Pepper Schwartz, a sociology professor at the University of Washington who coined the term “lesbian bed death,” and she pointed out that gay male couples differentiate from each other in other ways, too. For gay men, she said, “the initial filter is erotic, so they’re more likely to end up with somebody who’s very different in terms of education or social class.” But, she continued, “a gay woman thinks like the heterosexual woman who asks: ‘Do we share common goals? Do we like to do things together? Is he smart?’ ” She believes that lesbian and heterosexual couples share sexual challenges because both relationships involve women who tend to seek similar mates. As she put it, most men, regardless of sexual orientation, prioritize the erotic, but “heterosexual men have to deal with heterosexual women.”

[…]

When I asked Esther Perel, a couples therapist whose book, “Mating in Captivity,” addresses the issue of desire in marriage, about the role sexual scripts play in egalitarian partnerships, she explained it like this: “Egalitarian marriage takes the values of a good social system — consensus-building and consent — and assumes you can bring these rules into the bedroom. But the values that make for good social relationships are not necessarily the same ones that drive lust.” In fact, she continued, “most of us get turned on at night by the very things that we’ll demonstrate against during the day.”

[…]

One woman in her late 30s, for instance, who has been in a peer marriage for 10 years, said during couples therapy that when she asked her husband to be more forceful, “rougher,” in bed, the result was comical.

“He was trying to do what I wanted,” she explained, “but he was so . . . careful. I don’t want him to ask, ‘Are you O.K.?’ I want him not to care if I’m O.K., to just, you know, not be the good husband and take charge.” And yet, she said, his caring and his concern that she’s O.K. with what he’s doing are what she loves so much about him in every other area of their marriage, ranging from which brand of toilet paper to buy to what to feed their children to where their money is spent and which nights each of them can stay late at work. “I don’t want him to take charge like that with anything else!” she said.

I mentioned this situation to Dan Savage, the sex columnist, who told me that he sees similar themes in the letters he receives and the questions he fields at personal appearances. At a recent talk, for instance, one woman asked him if a certain sex act was “loving or degrading?”

“My reply was, ‘Yes,’ ” he told me. “Why can’t it be both?” He continued: “People have to learn to compartmentalize. We all want to be objectified by the person we love at times. We all want to be with somebody who can flip the switch and see you as an object for an hour. Sometimes sex is an expression of anger or a struggle for power and dominance. They work in concert. People need to learn how to harness those impulses playfully in ways that are acceptable in equal relationships.”

Go read the rest here.

Smallest penis in Brooklyn competition.

Write up at the Gothamist from last year's competition, copied in all its glory:

[NSFW] Photos: Smallest Penis In Brooklyn Contest Returns With Bigger Crowds, Bigger Penises

As promised, the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn pageant made its return to the borough this weekend, with five new penises and the bodies attached to them vying for the coveted title. For a few stifling hours, Bushwick's Kings County Bar transformed into one giant bachelorette party—assuming that party was held on the 4 train during rush hour, because that's how mobbed this bar was, with everyone and their mother (there were a few mothers there) anxious to see all the teeny peen.

The madness kicked off around 2 p.m., when a block-long line started trickling in—word on the street was that the first ladies in line had been there since 11:30 a.m. The bar was bedecked with penis-related balloons, streamers and decor. Bartenders were serving up a special "Penis Colada" drink: a creamy, white concoction that by no coincidence looked like semen, and came with a penis-shaped straw to boot. By 3 p.m., you couldn't move a muscle in the joint, but it was time for the festivities to start. The judges—broadcaster Carolyn Fox, sex educator Kendall McKenzie and bar owner Aimee Arciuolo—took their seats. Uproarious drag queen Chicken Bitches, donning a fur coat and ferocious blonde wig, was back to reprise her role as Master of Ceremonies, introducing the contestants.

A block long line for smallest penis contest. pic.twitter.com/GxdsIfNSk2

— Zee Y (@ZeeLoveGeeks) June 14, 2014

Now for the micro penises. There were five contestants this year: the Puzzle Master, Rufio, Rajkumar, Twig 'n Berries and Spiderman mask-wearing Peter Parker, who was a contestant last year, albeit under a different name. Rip Van Dinkle, who was a star sensation at last year's competition, was unable to make it this year thanks to travel woes, according to his Facebook. The contestants were introduced to the audience via a question-and-answer session, where Rajkumar instantly won the crowd's (and judges') hearts by singing and dancing to an Indian song and telling the crowd he liked "kissing" in bed.

And though this was a tiny penis competition, it was pretty clear from the get-go that both Rufio and Twig 'n Berries had perfectly average-sized penises. "Your dick is too fucking big," judge Fox told Rufio, before slamming him with a poor score. Note that the penises were covered with decorative toilet paper. "Because of legal regulations, we cannot show you the dick," Chicken Bitches advised us.

Post-Q&A came the swimsuit competition. The fellers lined up on top of the bar, junk camouflaged with aqua-colored cloth covered with sea creatures (like crabs!). There, they were sprayed with water by Super-Soaker wielding bar staff, and urged to dance for the crowd. Once again Rajkumar came out the winner. Once again, Rufio's normal-sized penis earned shame from the judges. "That looks like a big ol' dick," one judge yelled at him. At this point, the bar was so packed I had to find sanctuary up against a garbage can in the corner, for fear of getting trampled by a team of squealing, micro penis fetishists.

Today there was a "Smallest Penis In Brooklyn" contest. And that's all you need to know.

— Coffee and Cupcakes (@stridestruggles) June 15, 2014

Contestants had a real chance to shine during the talent section. The Puzzle Master reenacted Buffalo Bill's "Would You Fuck Me? I'd Fuck Me" scene from Silence of the Lambs, before dropping trou and treating the crowd to a view of his tucked-away junk. Rufio told terrible jokes. "What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? Your wife will always blow the bonus." He was appropriately vilified by the judges and Chicken Bitches, who had emerged as the hero of the night.

Crowd favorite Rajkumar treated us to a full-throttle Bollywood dance, and Peter Parker rocked out to "Jump On It." Twig 'n Berries delved into a rendition of Monty Python's "The Lumberjack Song," before taking his pants off and titillating the crowd with a rare full-frontal (and not small, the cheater!) penis sighting.

Finally, there was the crowning. The contestants wore tiny tuxedos over their penises in celebration. Last year's winner, Nick Gilronan, was there to hand off the title, telling the crowd that his life hadn't changed too much since he crushed last year's competition, but he did get laid a couple times this year. Rufio and Twig 'n Berries were tossed from the top three, due to their attempt to sneak regular-sized penises into a small penis competition. Briefly, a horrific sewage smell spread through the bar, and many attendees fled for fresher air, finally alleviating some of the claustrophobia.

Ultimately, Rajkumar was proclaimed the winner, landing $200 in cash, a date out in Bushwick with two sisters, and a place in Small Penis history.

Rajkumar lives in Manhattan, but moved here from India by way of Bloomington, Indiana after winning a Fulbright. He says having a small penis has never stopped him from finding romance. "I have enough fun with women," he told us, noting that ladies never complained about his size. "It's okay, from whatever to whatever. You are what you are." After all, Gupta says, true love has nothing to do with your disco stick. "Penis size is of the least importance," he said. "Most important is love and devotion. It's all about love." Gupta plans to make a film about his journey from India to Indiana, and hopefully his Smallest Penis title will earn a mention. "I really believe it's going to be a blockbuster," he said.

And so concludes our commentary on the Great Small Penis Shitshow of 2014. A few notes: Kings County Bar will be moving a few blocks away at the end of this month, and Arciulo promises the space is much bigger than the current incarnation, which will hopefully alleviate some of the miserable crowding that crushed this year's show, should you choose to attend. Also, between competitions, music comedy duo Afterbirth Monkey treated attendees to some excellent penis-themed music, stealing the show from all the actual penises. I'd pay $5 to see them again, if not the scrotum.

Biphobia.

According to the women in these videos, the pecking order is lesbians > bisexuals > college girls who are experimenting. Keep in mind, the views presented in these videos don't represent all lesbians and bisexuals.

Bisexuality is a common misunderstood orientation. Watch The Gay Version : http://youtu.be/XUXzNowXVwo Subscribe To Matt! : http://youtube.com/gaygod *These are the opinions of SOME lesbians, not all.* ------- Check Out The Lesbians : Liz, Joanna Courtney: http://www.youtube.com/user/hatefulcourtney413 Marissa : http://youtube.com/lezbeontalk LESBIAN ADVENTURES! : http://bit.ly/SubscribeToGirlfriends TWITTER : ‪‪‪http://twitter.com/arielleishammin‬‬‬ FACEBOOK : ‪‪‪http://facebook.com/arielleishamming‬‬ T SHIRTS : ‪‪‪http://www.districtlines.com/arielleishamming SNAIL MAIL : Arielle Scarcella P.O.

Bisexuals respond to what the lesbians think about them. Watch The Original Video : http://youtu.be/xUozcqlhX3w GIRLS in order of appearance : http://www.youtube.com/user/staceybrennan http://youtube.com/heythere005 http://www.youtube.com/user/lezbeontalk http://instagram.com/ms_mujer LESBIAN ADVENTURES! : http://bit.ly/SubscribeToGirlfriends TWITTER : ‪‪‪http://twitter.com/arielleishammin‬‬‬ FACEBOOK : ‪‪‪http://facebook.com/arielleishamming‬‬ T SHIRTS : ‪‪‪http://www.districtlines.com/arielleishamming SNAIL MAIL : Arielle Scarcella P.O.

And one from the gay men, with the educational commentary around the 2:30 mark (thanks for passing this along, anonymous student!):

Want to know what the lesbians think about bisexuals? Watch Arielle's video: http://youtu.be/xUozcqlhX3w (and subscribe to her cause she's amazing: http://www.YouTube.com/arielleishamming) CHECK OUT THE GAYS: Nick: http://www.YouTube.com/LUSH Jake: http://www.YouTube.com/TheDiaryofJake Pano: http://www.YouTube.com/Sockl3ss Cameron: http://www.YouTube.com/TheCamCamera Jon: http://www.twitter.com/jonnpastorr Everytime you don't subscribe, a gay baby turns straight. Do it for the gaybies!

 And one more video on myths about bisexuals:

PLEASE READ BELOW, CORRECTIONS ADDED. I made this many years ago and I feel like I learnt more about bisexuality and other sexualities after filming this. So some of the things I say in this video I would not say today.

TED: Monica Lewinsky - The price of shame.

From the description:

In 1998, says Monica Lewinsky, “I was Patient Zero of losing a personal reputation on a global scale almost instantaneously.” Today, the kind of online public shaming she went through has become a constant. In a brave talk, she takes a look at our “culture of humiliation,” in which online shame equals dollar signs — and demands a different way.

In 1998, says Monica Lewinsky, "I was Patient Zero of losing a personal reputation on a global scale almost instantaneously." Today, the kind of online public shaming she went through has become a constant. In a brave talk, she takes a look at our "culture of humiliation," in which online shame equals dollar signs - and demands a different way.

Documentary - (Sex)abled: Disability Uncensored

This 14 minute short documentary features a panel hosted by the Disabled Student Union at University of California Berkeley called "Are Cripples Screwed." In addition to the panel, viewers are introduced to a community of disabled individuals who address misconceptions and stereotypes about sex and disability while sharing stories about their intimate relationships.

Coming out to immigrant parents.

Despite this clip being specifically about the children of immigrants, the stories are universal. But, it's probably safe to say that coming out as the child of immigrant parents can make things even more difficult, especially if the parents come from a culture that views non-heterosexaulity as negative. From Buzzfeed:

"This part of me is different...and what if it changes the way they see me...?" Check out more awesome videos at BuzzFeed Yellow! http://bit.ly/YTbuzzfeedyellow MUSIC: "Departure" by Exist Strategy https://soundcloud.com/exist-strategy/departure Big thanks to Andrew, Joel, Rashmi, Sara, Vivien, Priscilla, and Noriko for sharing their stories GET MORE BUZZFEED: www.buzzfeed.com www.buzzfeed.com/video www.youtube.com/buzzfeed www.youtube.com/buzzfeedvideo www.youtube.com/buzzfeedyellow www.youtube.com/buzzfeedblue www.youtube.com/buzzfeedviolet BUZZFEED YELLOW Tasty short, fun, inspiring, funny, interesting videos from BuzzFeed.

Make Love, Not Porn.

Cindy Gallops' project, Make Love, Not Porn, has become a huge success. There are two websites, one which provides a dose of reality to counter the unreal expectations one might develop watching pornography (link).

The other site features user-submitted video content. From the website (link):

MakeLoveNotPorn.tv is of the people, by the people, and for the people who believe that the sex we have in our everyday life is the hottest sex there is.

We are not porn - porn is performance (often an exceedingly delicious performance, but a performance nonetheless).

We are not 'amateur' - a label that implies that the only people doing it right are the professionals and the rest of us are bumbling idiots. (Honey, please.)

We are #realworldpeople, #realworldsex, #realworldfeelings, #realworldrelationships, #realworldbodies, #realworldhotness, #realworldeverything.

The site works on a profit-sharing basis. Users submit their videos for curation, and if posted on the site, the videos can be rented for $5. Half goes to the users, half goes to the website. Read about how it works here.

Here is a sample screenshot from the homepage (click to make larger):

Pornography and sex ed.

From the CBC:

Pornography, Kids And Sex Education: What To Do?Porn industry the main sex educator of kids, says child advocate By Daniel Schwartz

More kids at ever younger ages are accessing pornography online, according to a range of international studies, but there's not much consensus about what, if anything, should be done by parents or teachers to address the issue.

Today in Winnipeg, a children's advocacy group called Beyond Borders will host a symposium entitled "Generation XXX, the pornification of our children."

"The porn industry is the country's main sex educator of our boys and girls," says Cordelia Anderson, one of the experts scheduled to speak at the symposium, referring to the situation in the U.S.

"Young people have never had this ease of access to this type of material at this young of age," the founding president of the U.S. National Coalition to Prevent Child Sexual Abuse and Exploitation told CBC Radio. "This alone should encourage us to be talking about it and studying it."

Cathy Wing, the co-executive director of Ottawa-based MediaSmarts, another conference speaker, says "we really need to talk to kids from an early age, before they become exposed to online porn."

[…]

"Porn can have both negative and positive impacts," says Alice Gauntley, a sex education activist and a student in gender and sexuality studies at McGill University in Montreal.

"It can reinforce sexist, racist and transphobic stereotypes and give us unrealistic expectations about sex and our bodies. But it can also be a source of pleasure and a means of exploring our sexualities."

But for young teens with no sexual experience, processing the porn on their screens may be quite a challenge. Gauntley argues, "it is necessary to equip teens with the tools they need to make sense of the erotic material they might come across."

Sex educators are concerned that young people are getting the wrong picture about sex from viewing online pornography.

As Wing points out, "you're not going to get realistic portrayals in the pornography industry. It's a business; everything is constructed, like all media."

She advises teachers and parents to, "make sure the kids understand that this is not reflecting reality, that it's a constructed reality that contains bias and it's there to make money."

Fantasy, not reality

Sex therapist Wendy Maltz says that while kids have a sense that they should view pornography as fiction, she doesn't think they do.

"That takes a lot of high-order thinking to maintain that, especially under the influence of sexual arousal. It can start getting blurry when there's an excitement associated with it."

Maltz, author of The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography, says "the image is the reality on the internet."

She adds that you won't stop young people's curiosity about sex, but that it's important for them to know that curiosity is normal. "It doesn't mean you're sick if you found this stuff exciting."

But it bothers Maltz that, because of the prevalence of pornography, "kids are getting robbed of having their own sexual conditioning come from real-life romantic experiences."

She would like to see kids start getting a healthy sex education before they start viewing pornography.

Getting educated about porn

The questions is where should young people get that education?

Linda Kasdorf is studying the impact of pornography on children and youth for her social work degree at the University of Regina, and she works at Saskatoon Christian Counselling Services. She says parents have the responsibility not only to protect kids from pornography, but also to educate them about sex.

"Sexual intimacy is totally missed when kids view porn, and there's no way to prepare them to understand that void."

Kasdorf argues when it comes to pornography, the education needs to begin with the adults. "Many parents have no idea that their children can even access pornography, they're that naive."

She adds that, "parents needs to be taught how to talk about pornography with their kids, how to help dissect experiences when kids are exposed to pornography."

But she also wants to see pornography become a component of school sex education programs. Those programs should ensure that, "kids actually have trusted adults that they can talk to about things they're curious about."

Gauntley would like to see a media literacy component on pornography, "because it encourages teens to be critical thinkers — to be able to recognize the differences between sex in porn and in real life."

Bisexual girl problems.

From Buzzfeed:

"You guys must be having SO many threesomes!" Post to Facebook: http://on.fb.me/1oH4WnB Like BuzzFeedVideo on Facebook: http://on.fb.me/1ilcE7k Post to Twitter: http://bit.ly/1E9Wkjc Music: Quirky Moments Music Licensed Via Warner Chappell Production Music Inc. Written by Gaby Dunn Featuring: Gaby Dunn - @gabydunn Kristen Mortensen - @kris10mor10sen Allison Raskin - @allison620

Legos act out Canada's new sex work laws.

From the Ottawa Citizen:

John and Sally get busted for prostitution by a police officer who tries to explain the new law.

Animated global map of same sex marriage.

Sadly, the blog from where it originated is gone. From the Nerd Up North:

Gay rights by jurisdiction: Civil Union (light blue), Equal Marriage (dark blue). Jurisdictions are highlighted (bright blue) in the first year of marriage equality

Here we have the first version of another animated map, this one showing marriage rights around the world. It begins in 2000 for no particular reason, other than perhaps to show which countries allowed civil unions before the first to confer marriage equality (the Netherlands, in 2001). It's noteworthy that Canada and France, among others, only began offering civil unions to gay couples in 1999.

Of course this is an imperfect map -- Argentina, for example, allowed civil unions in one state prior to marriage equality in 2010, as well as in three cities. Obviously I've chosen not to attempt to include municipal recognition of same-sex relationships as those tend to pre-date national or sub-national recognition by leaps and bounds. Australia, on the other hand, offers many of the same benefits in the states that don't allow civil unions as those that do -- it is often the case that civil unions don't confer some or even most of the rights that actual marriage provides. In Canada prior to 2005 each province had different criteria for recognizing common-law partnerships and conferred a different set of rights, even though it was a federal court ruling that began the process.

Gay rights remain controversial even in Canada, where even if it seems like the fight was over a long time ago, most of the country hasn't enjoyed marriage equality for a full decade, and LGBT people are not as of yet explicitly protected by our constitution or human rights legislation. But as this map shows, the fight for LGBT rights has marched inexorably forward, at least throughout the western world. Within the next few years, Israel or Nepal may become the first Asian nations to grant marriage equality rights, and with groundbreaking victories in Latin America in just the last three years, the tide has not only turned but accelerated; 2013 has been the biggest year for marriage equality so far.

It is interesting to compare the progression of gay rights in the countries broken down into their states and provinces on this map. Brazil and Canada saw court decisions and laws rapidly bring each from no recognition to full marriage equality within a matter of years. The United States and Australia, on the other hand, seem to make very little progression each year -- but progression nonetheless.

Of course, this map doesn't indicate the many countries where it's illegal to be gay, a handful of which even carry out the death penalty for any degree of sexual activity between members of the same sex. And there are countries where gay rights have taken major steps backwards in recent years too -- this year, Russia passed a law limiting freedom of expression and association for LGBT citizens and non-citizens alike. In fact, the Canadian government advises its LGBT citizens not to travel to Russia except for urgent business, as advocating for the advancement of gay rights or even showing PDA can now land a tourist in a Russian jail.

Some women in Delhi talk about masturbation.

I'd be curious to know how many women had to be interviewed before they found some willing to talk openly about masturbation (just these ones? some? a lot?). I'd also be curious to know how representative these women are (i.e., education, social class, religiosity, etc.). None-the-less, an interesting clip.

Our Facebook Link: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Nisheeth-TV/1412774612346459?ref=hl The video above has no intentions to reveal sexuality of women or to target any specific girl. The concept behind this video is to persuade the mass to change their vision on such issues. Self -Pleasuring activities are not a sin and therefore people must not feel ashamed.

OK Trends: Impact of race on messages received.

I've posted tidbits from OKTrends previously; it's the research blog for the dating website OKCupid, and it's both nerdy and amazing. It's also very helpful if you do online dating, as it provides excellent feedback on what works and doesn't work. I was alerted (thanks!) to an old but interesting post on the relationship between race and messages received. It's kind of depressing but worth reading none the less. I've also linked the 2014 update at the bottom - nothing much has changed.

From OkTrends (this is a very cursory selection from the article; if you have the time, the full article is awesome with tons of great data visualizations):

How Your Race Affects The Messages You Get by Christian Rudder

Welcome back, dorks. We’ve processed the messaging habits of over a million people and are about to basically prove that, despite what you might’ve heard from the Obama campaign and organic cereal commercials, racism is alive and well. It would be awesome if other big websites would go out on a limb and release their own race data, too. I can’t imagine they will: multi-million dollar enterprises rarely like to admit that the people generating those millions act like turds. But being poor gives us a certain freedom. To alienate all our users. So there.

When I first started looking at first-contact attempts and who was writing who back, it was immediately obvious that the sender’s race was a huge factor. Here are just a handful of the numbers that illustrate that:

[…]

Black women write back the most. Whether it’s due to talkativeness, loneliness, or a sense of plain decency, black women are by far the most likely to respond to a first contact attempt. In many cases, their response rate is one and a half times the average, and, overall, black women reply about a quarter more often that other women.

White men get more responses. Whatever it is, white males just get more replies from almost every group. We were careful to preselect our data pool so that physical attractiveness (as measured by our site picture-rating utility) was roughly even across all the race/gender slices. For guys, we did likewise with height.

White women prefer white men to the exclusion of everyone else—and Asian and Hispanic women prefer them even more exclusively. These three types of women only respond well to white men. More significantly, these groups’ reply rates to non-whites is terrible. Asian women write back non-white males at 21.9%, Hispanic women at 22.9%, and white women at 23.0%. It’s here where things get interesting, for white women in particular. If you look at the match-by-race table before this one, the “should-look-like” one, you see that white women have an above-average compatibility with almost every group. Yet they only reply well to guys who look like them. There’s more data on this towards the end of the post.

[…]

Men don’t write black women back. Or rather, they write them back far less often than they should. Black women reply the most, yet get by far the fewest replies. Essentially every race—including other blacks—singles them out for the cold shoulder.

White guys respond less overall. The average reply rate of non-white males is 48.1%, while white guys’ is only 40.5%. Basically, they write back about 20% less often. It’s ironic that white guys are worst responders, because as we saw above they in turn get the most replies. That has apparently made them very self-absorbed.

Read the rest here.

And the 2014 update here.

How many?

From the description:

Telling someone how many people you’ve had sex with is a lot like tripping in the middle of a busy sidewalk: People might act like they couldn't care less, but deep down, everyone is judging you. A lot. Sharing "The Number" with someone can be especially awkward when you're dating them. Most people don't get aroused by the thought of their partners having sex with other people.

To the people who do: You do you -- and someone else, probably.

We managed to track down a few couples who managed to avoid this particular conversation until we thrust them in front of a camera and asked if they'd be willing to share the number of people they'd gone all the way with (only we phrased it differently because it isn't 1957).

Telling someone how many people you've had sex with is a lot like tripping in the middle of a busy sidewalk: People might act like they couldn't care less, but deep down, everyone is judging you. A lot. Sharing "The Number" with someone can be especially awkward when you're dating them.

Heterosexual men holding hands.

From Stuff Indians Like:

Unlike Iran, homosexuality probably does exist to some extent in India. With so many dance remixes, styles patterned on Bollywood kitsch, open-toed shoes and silk, how can it not? In India, though, homosexuality is one thing, and holding hands is quite another.

In many places throughout Asia, holding hands amongst men is considered a common demonstration of hetero friendship. While crossing chaotic streets or sauntering down the sidewalk chewing paan, Indian men show no shame in interlocking fingers and pressing palms.

One NRI even claims to have seen "macchans," the alpha males of college campuses, locking arms with the lieutenants of their pack in India, and "goondas" holding hands just before launching an assault on a local tea shop that refuses to serve their gang free chai.

In America, though, hand holding between male friends is strictly prohibited by heteronormative social mores. Locking feet in a bhangra circle, however, is completely acceptable and straight. Lifting weights together in sleeveless tees and making eye contact in the full body mirror at the gym while executing synchronized bicep curls is also allowed. But hand holding between close friends? No, that'd be totally gay.

If you are an Indian male visiting family in India, do not be alarmed if upon first meeting you after several years of absence your cousin Anirrudah immediately grabs your hand and holds it next to his thigh for a long period of time. Also do not be alarmed if he is several years older than you, pushing 30, living with his parents and still single. This is the Indian custom of saying, "How have you been, brother? I'm not allowed to touch girls in my family's presence so this is as good as it gets."

Anirrudah will continue to hold your hand as his parents give your family a tour of their flat and introduce you to the goats that roam freely through their back yard. If you jump in alarm at the sight of wild animals, even for a second, Anirrudah will clasp your hand tighter and laugh a toothy grin in your face. "Are you frightened?" he will ask. Never, under any circumstance say yes. Just smile and breathe. It's not gay, just totally uncomfortable.