Attitudes

Recent research: People who practice BDSM.

in ,

From LiveScience:

Bondage Benefits: BDSM Practitioners Healthier Than 'Vanilla' People By Stephanie Pappas

Despite the fact that their sexual preferences are listed in the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders as potentially problematic, people who play with whips and chains in the bedroom may actually be more psychologically healthy than those who don't.

A new study finds that practitioners of bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism, or BDSM, score better on a variety of personality and psychological measures than "vanilla" people who don't engage in unusual sex acts. BDSM is a sexual practice that revolves around those four fetishes.

BDSM is listed in the DSM-5, the newest edition of the definitive psychiatrist's manual, as a paraphilia, or unusual sexual fixation — a label that has caused controversy between kinky communities and psychiatrists, who themselves are mixed on whether sexual predilections belong in the catalog of mental disorders. As written, the DSM-5 does not label BDSM a disorder unless it causes harm to the practitioner or to others.

[…]

Healthy fixation?

None of the participants knew what the surveys were about, other than they were on "human behavior." All told, 902 BDSM practitioners and 434 vanilla (non-BDSM) participants filled out questionnaires on personality, sensitivity to rejection, style of attachment in relationships and well-being.

The researchers chose these baseline measures because previous research on those in the BDSM community has focused on dire outcomes — whether they're more likely to have mental disorders or report rape and abuse compared with the general public. (They aren't, studies have found.)

The new results reveal that on a basic level, BDSM practitioners don't appear to be more troubled than the general population. They were more extroverted, more open to new experiences and more conscientious than vanilla participants; they were also less neurotic, a personality trait marked by anxiety. BDSM aficionados also scored lower than the general public on rejection sensitivity, a measure of how paranoid people are about others disliking them.

People in the BDSM scene reported higher levels of well-being in the past two weeks than people outside it, and they reported more secure feelings of attachment in their relationships, the researchers found.

Of the BDSM practitioners, 33 percent of the men reported being submissive, 48 percent dominant and 18 percent "switch," or willing to switch between submissive and dominant roles in bed. About 75 percent of the female BDSM respondents were submissive, 8 percent dominant and 16 percent switch.

These roles showed some links to psychological health, such that dominants tended to score highest in all quarters, submissives lowest and switches in the middle. However, submissives never scored lower than vanilla participants on mental health, and frequently scored higher, Wismeijer told LiveScience.

"Within the BDSM community, [submissives] were always perceived as the most vulnerable, but still, there was not one finding in which the submissives scored less favorable than the controls," he said.

Read the rest here.

Parents sue over ban on conversion therapy.

in ,

From Salon:

Family sues New Jersey for right to put their child in gay conversion therapy

A New Jersey couple is fighting to put their child in a discredited therapy to "cure" him of his sexual identity

By Katie McDonough

A New Jersey couple is suing their state over a law banning so-called gay conversion therapy, which they say is a violation of their free speech rights, freedom of religion and ability to parent their child “free from unconstitutional government interference,” which in this case means putting a 15-year-old high school student through a medically discredited pseudotherapy intended to “cure” him of his sexual and gender identity.

According to the complaint, the couple’s teenage son began “experiencing gender identity disorder when he was around nine years old,” at which point he started to see a social worker who “helped him tremendously” with his gender identity and “unwanted same-sex attraction.”

At the recommendation of this social worker, the family then contacted Ronald Newman, a member of the anti-gay Christian counseling group National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality, but the state ban on the discredited practice prevented them from going forward with the counseling.

“John Doe has a sincerely held religious belief and conviction that homosexuality is wrong and immoral, and he wanted to address that value conflict because his unwanted same-sex attractions and gender confusion are contrary to the fundamental religious values that he holds,” according to the complaint.

The suit contends that the teenager has also struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts in the past, a sad and frightening fact since he doesn’t seem like he has the support necessary to seek the genuine help — including legitimate and medically credible therapy — that he needs any time soon.

Beyond Ex-Gay, a community of survivors of “sexual orientation change efforts” who abandoned the practice and the anti-gay, anti-trans worldview that comes with it, surveyed its members to find the top 10 reasons they entered ex-gay therapy in the first place, all of which, sadly, seem to be echoed in this case:

  • To be a better Christian.
  • I believed it was what God wanted me to do.
  • I feared I would be condemned by God.
  • The desire to fit in with everyone, to feel “normal.”
  • Cultural pressure to conform to heterosexuality.
  • Desire to please family and friends.
  • I feared I would go to hell for being gay.
  • Fear of losing family and friends.
  • Misinformation of what it meant to be gay.
  • Self-hatred & internalized homophobia.

AR Wear.

in ,

TRIGGER WARNING FOR SEXUAL VIOLENCE.

I'd be curious to hear your thoughts in the reply section.

From Mashable:

Company Crowdfunds 'Locking' Anti-Rape Garments By Eva Recinos

The creators of a new clothing line featuring underwear and running shorts aim to help women feel safer on the streets.

AR Wear has been working on a anti-rape garments that women can wear discreetly, underneath their normal clothing. The idea is that customers can wear the AR underwear, for example, with a dress and leave for a night on the town feeling, potentially, a bit more secure.

The company designed the underwear with specific locks that keep it safely and tightly on the user and make it difficult for a stranger to forcibly remove it. The "skeleton structure," as the company's video describes, functions on certain parts of the garment to add protection by making those parts harder to move.

A set of so-called thigh locks make it so that the material over the leg openings are difficult to move after the user snaps them in place. The center of the underwear's waistband also contains a lock which only opens when a wearer sets two notches to a specific position, like the hands of a clock. Each pair of underwear is assigned a position out of up to 132 different combinations.

Mashable spoke with a representative of the company, who preferred the focus to stay on the product versus the identities of the people behind it. Ruth and Yuval, the main creators of the project, therefore declined to give their last names on the campaign or elsewhere.

"Our goal is to get a product out there that might be used by some people and prevent some rapes," said Ruth. "And possibly even make more awareness of the problems of rape culture."

The clothing adds new features to already existing clothing items so that women can incorporate them into an outfit.

"Basically you're putting in some straps and webbing that can't be cut ... and you connect that with the center panel and you miraculously end up with something that is comfortable," said Ruth. "And that was the really tricky part."

AR Wear currently features underwear and running shorts and the creators hope to apply the same techniques to "traveling shorts" in the future.

The team's Indiegogo campaign had raised $2,080 at time of writing, out of its $50,000 goal, with 28 days to go. Donations of $25 yield a 10% discount on any AR Wear purchase and a $100 contribution gives the largest discount of 30% per garment. The project, however, will only be funded if it reaches its goal.

The clothing line debut has not been without controversy, however. Aside from raising questions about whether or not it would even be effective during an assault, the Daily Dotpoints out that such an invention "subtly shifts the responsibility for avoiding rape from the attacker to the victim," among other problems.

From the Daily Dot:

Admirable. But these ideas for anti-rape clothing never go anywhere, and that’s because preventing rape has nothing to do with what a woman is wearing, or not wearing, and everything to do with the rapist and a culture of victim-blaming. Are panties with thigh locks really making us safer, or is every woman’s fear simply being exploited for profit?

And here's the promo video for the clothing line:

AR Wear - A clothing line offering wearable protection for when things go wrong. To our Indiegogo campaign page: http://igg.me/at/AR-Wear


Androgynous models and our definitions of beauty.

in , ,

Passed along by Lyore (thanks!):

I came across this article and found it really interesting.

It's a year old, but I only discovered it now. It's a short interview with the model Andrej Pejic who was the first transgendered model to be featured on the cover of a major fashion magazine (Elle).

I find it really interesting that Andrej doesn't define himself by the traditional concepts of sexuality and just sees himself as androgynous. In his interview he says that his gender is open to artistic interpretation and that he doesn't see himself as either male or female-gender is irrelevant to him. I also find it really cool that the fashion industry has been so open to transgendered models in the past few years even though it has been a bit controversial. It does make me wonder though if big fashion labels such as Jean Paul Gaultier have taken advantage of models like Andrej Pejic for media coverage and ultimately for their own benefit (other then just showing openness and acceptance in the fashion world to more ambiguous and non-traditional gender roles)

From the New York Daily News:

Androgynous model Andrej Pejic pushes gender boundaries on the cover of Serbian Elle magazine

Inside, the 21-year-old cross-dressing beauty, who defies categorization, wrestles with female and male versions of himself. “I’ve left my gender open to artistic interpretation,” Pejic once said.

By Carol Kuruvilla

The androgynous model French designer Jean Paul Gaultier called his “otherworldly beauty” is now an Elle cover girl.

Twenty-one-year-old Andrej Pejic is featured front and center on Serbian Elle’s January cover, the Telegraph reports. The cross-dressing model is fitted head to toe in Gaultier and trades in his trademark platinum locks for a choppy black wig.

Inside the magazine, he wrestles with male and female versions of himself in a feature named “Victor Victoria.” The female Pejic wears skimpy La Perla lingerie, while a more masculine side of Pejic looks aggressive in suits.

At a twiggy 5 feet, 11 inches tall, the hipless, chestless Pejic is a fashion designer’s dream. The versatile model has hit the runway in both men’s and women’s fashion shows.

Pejic doesn’t plan on having sex reassignment surgery. Whether he identifies as male or female doesn’t seem to be the point: Gender is irrelevant.

“I’ve left my gender open to artistic interpretation,” Pejic told New York Magazine. “It’s not like ‘Okay, today I want to look like a man, or today I want to look like a woman.’ I want to look like me.”

Pejic is the second model to push gender boundaries on Elle, transforming what the fashion world considers feminine. (Brazilian model Lea T wore Givenchy on Brazilian Elle’s cover in 2011.)

In 2011, Barnes and Noble censored an issue of a magazine in which Pejic appeared bare-chested on the cover.

But Pejic is no stranger to controversy. His mother is Serbian, and his father is a Croat, which placed his parents on opposite sides of the Bosnian war in the 1990s. A few months after his birth, fighting caused his family to flee to Melbourne, Australia. He was discovered at 17 while working at McDonald’s, the BBC reports.

See the rest of the photos here.

Lyore also sent along a Buzzfeed link to photos of several androgynous models. Check it out here.

Meghalaya: home to two matrilineal tribes.

in ,

From Aljazeera:

Meghalaya: Where women call the shots Many Indian women cry out for equality, but a matrilineal culture thrives with little parallel in the northeast. by Subir Bhaumik

Shillong, India - In a far corner of India, a country where women usually cry out for equality, respect and protection, there's a state where men are asking for more rights.

Meghalaya - "Home of Clouds" - is picturesque state with its capital Shillong a regional hub for education and the trend-setter for the Westernised culture that's accepted by most tribes in the country's northeast.

The two major tribes of Meghalaya, Khasis and Jaintias, are matrilineal with a vengeance. Children take the mother's surname, daughters inherit the family property with the youngest getting the lion's share, and most businesses are run by women.

Known as the "Khatduh", the youngest daughter anchors the family, looking after elderly parents, giving shelter and care to unmarried brothers and sisters, and watching over property.

The Khasi Social Custom of Lineage Act protects the matrilineal structure.

Some trace the origins of the system to Khasi and Jaintia kings, who preferred to entrust the household to their queens when they went to battle. This custom has continued to provide women the pride of place in the tribal society.

"Matriliny safeguards women from social ostracism when they remarry because their children, no matter who the father was, would be known by the mother's clan name. Even if a woman delivered a child out of wedlock, which is quite common, there is no social stigma attached to the woman in our society," says Patricia Mukhim, a national award-winning social activist who edits the Shillong Times newspaper.

Mukhim says her society will not succumb to the dominant patriarchial system in most of India.

"We have interfaced with several cultures and our women have married people from other Indian provinces and from outside India. But very few Khasi women have given up their culture," says Mukhim. "Most have transmitted the culture to their children born out of wedlock with non-Khasis."

Anirban Roy, a Bengali married to a Jaintia woman whom he met as a fellow student in a veterinary college, says he faced no problem adjusting to the matrilineal culture of his wife's family.

"Everyone in the wife's clan made it a point to come and introduce themselves, and invite me to their houses either for lunch or dinner to know each other better. Whenever we face a problem, the members of my wife's clan rushed to our help," said Roy. "As a groom, I enjoyed great respect and privilege."

Read the rest here.

British rowers get naked to fight homophobia.

in , ,

From Buzzfeed:

British Rowing Team Strips Down Once Again To Fight Homophobia

It’s a beautiful day for fighting bullies.

Say hello to the fine gentlemen of the Warwick University Rowing Club. On most days, they’re just your average fine British rowing men.

[…]

Since 2009, the rowing team has stripped down for the Warwick Rowing Naked Calendar, donating a portion of the proceeds to their charity, Sport Allies, which fights homophobia and bullying. According to the project, “Sport Allies is dedicated to challenging homophobia among young people. The rowers are predominantly straight men who have welcomed and embraced the fantastic support they have had from the gay community for their fundraising efforts. Sport Allies is their way of honoring that support and giving something back.”

[…]

You can watch the entire promo video here, follow them on Twitter and Facebook, and, of course, grab a calendar at WarwickRowers.org.

See the rest of the photos here (NSFWish). And the video (also NSFWish):

Who needs astrologers? With the Warwick Rowers 2014 calendar, you will be able to get exactly the kind of perspective you need on the year ahead. Featuring genuine university athletes who have stripped off to brighten up your each and every day, our calendar guarantees a very enjoyable 2014 for everyone who buys it, with a strong possibility of a welcome surprise around the start of each month. We're also sensing that there could be passion on the horizon, because if this calendar doesn't get you going, nothing will! And this calendar won't just be good news for you. As well as helping the students with their sport, it's raising funds and awareness to support Sport Allies, a new programme developed by the rowers themselves in partnership with a registered charity, Educational Action Challenging Homophobia. (EACH, UK Reg Charity No. 1095665). Sport Allies is dedicated to challenging homophobia among young people. The rowers are predominantly straight men who have welcomed and embraced the fantastic support they have had from the gay community for their fundraising efforts. Sport Allies is their way of honoring that support and giving something back. The rowers will share with young people their own experience of learning to understand the challenges that others face, simply on the grounds of their sexuality, and how this has changed these athletes both as individuals and as a team. So please support the rowers and their efforts by visiting WarwickRowers.org, where you will be able to purchase calendars, greeting cards, films, and digital downloads. It's the hottest way to help... Twitter: @naked_rowers Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Warwick-Rowings-Mens-Naked-Calendar/496964983654487?ref=ts&fref=ts


Makeup.

in , ,

 

From ViralNova:

Vadim Andreev is a 29 year-old makeup artist from St. Petersburg, Russia, who has been honing his skill since the age of 16. He has become so talented at his craft, he proves that almost any woman can be as beautiful as a model if she really wants to. All it takes is some well-applied makeup.

But it’s important to note that this kind of beauty is superficial. There’s nothing wrong with emphasizing our natural beauty, but some girls out there are depressed because they can’t achieve what the magazines say true beauty is. Here’s a wake-up call to show you what these women really look like.

Vadim’s goal is to prove to women that they don’t need harmful surgery in order to transform into beauties. With the right makeup and hair, any woman can look like a model. They just have to play to their strengths. Knowing a few makeup tips wouldn’t hurt, either.

Vadim is only 29, but he has been perfecting his skills as a makeup artist for 13 years. He has worked with Russian celebrities, but he also loves to help every day clients. He prepares women for events or weddings, showing them what beauty they all possess. He even passes on his knowledge with workshops and how-to videos. What he knows isn’t magic. Anyone can learn how to transform themselves into a stunning beauty. It might just take some practice.

Of course the real story here is that superficial beauty is just that – superficial. Any woman can have it, but it’s what’s on the inside that truly sets you apart.

See the rest of the photos here.

Art: Gay student to lose virginity in live performance.

in ,

From Vice:

By Dan Wilkinson

Virginity generally tends to be a big deal for most people. Presumably because society dictates that, pre-sex, you are a hairless fawn crawling your way through the embarrassing undergrowth of training bras and stealth wanking, and post-sex you're fully grown with a comprehensive understanding of D'Angelo's discography and the right to drink triple sec next to swimming pools. But then society is notoriously mean and ill informed and probably doesn't even know what it's talking about.

In a bid to understand where the obsession and scrutiny of virginity comes from, my friend Clayton Pettet has decided to lose his flower in front of a crowd next year as part of his St Martins art project, titled "Art School Took My Virginity". He told me that some tabloid journalists had been sniffing around the story, so I thought I'd give him a call before they got their noses in the trough.

VICE: Hey man. So, I hear you're being hounded by the press?Clayton Pettet: Yeah, I just spoke to this journalist and it was so weird – it feels like the national papers that are asking about the project want to get the best angle and rip it apart. It’s crazy. It’s not something I’m used to, watching everything I say with caution.

But you must have expected something like this would happen, right? I don’t really mind what they say about me, as long as it's their words. I don’t want them to twist mine. But it brings discussion, and whether it's making people angry, excited or confused, it’s bringing forth emotion about art. Which is something we’ve lost.

You think? People say that everything has been done already, but I don’t think that’s true. If you think hard enough, there's shit that only you could think of – something so buried inside of you that, if you let yourself, you'd be able to just to throw up onto a canvas and let your mind do the rest.

Fair enough. When did you first get the idea? Since I was about 16 years old, the whole idea of virginity has been overwhelming to me. I started to think about why it meant so much, and was [the meaning] actually real. So, from then until I started art school, I was constantly thinking, 'What If I desensitised the whole concept of virginity by losing mine as a performance art piece?' Because that’s what virginity is to me – a performance that has been used to value women, a heteronormative term that is constantly used to work out someone’s worth. My piece is also like one big study and investigation; has anything changed after penetration? Does it all actually matter?

For me, losing my virginity was vital. Do you think it's more hyped up from a male perspective? Yes, definitely. It's just a hyped up thing in general. It's used more as an insult to still have your virginity now, but it’s always been a negative thing and always meant so much more than it should. I feel if I was a girl losing my virginity for this piece, people would be way more angry. Which is exactly my point. Virginity is used to dictate your worth depending on which gender you are.

So you're saying sex isn’t important? Sex is important, and as a first experience it will always be remembered. But it shouldn’t be remembered as the loss of virginity. But maybe I’m completely wrong, which is why I’m doing a piece. It's about self-discovery more than anything.

How come you haven't lost it already? I don’t know... I think it took a lot of time to discover what I was actually into, sexually. I was so obsessed with losing it that I never got around to actually meeting someone to do it with.

Really? Well, there were times when I could have had sex. But it always felt like something was there stopping me. But I've realised this is how I want to do it. I want to lose it for art and I want to lose it for change.

Read the rest of the interview here.

Sexism ads.

in ,

From AdWeek:

Powerful Ads Use Real Google Searches to Show the Scope of Sexism Worldwide Simple visual for inequality By David Griner

Here's a simple and powerful campaign idea from UN Women using real suggested search terms from Google's autocomplete feature. Campaign creator Christopher Hunt, head of art for Ogilvy & Mather Dubai, offers this summary: “This campaign uses the world's most popular search engine (Google) to show how gender inequality is a worldwide problem. The adverts show the results of genuine searches, highlighting popular opinions across the world wide web.” Each ad's fine print says "actual Google search on 09/03/13." While Google users in different countries are likely to get different results, a quick test shows that several of these suggested terms definitely come up in U.S. searches. Since its creation, autocomplete has become a popular device for social debate and even inspired a recent epic visual from xkcd, but these ads do a stellar job driving home the daunting fact that enough people around the world share these vile opinions that Google has come to expect them. Check out all the design versions after the jump. Via Design Taxi.

UPDATE: After the viral success of these ads since this posting, the creators tell AdFreak they plan to expand the campaign. Check out our follow-up Q&A with the team behind the ads.

See the rest of the ads, and check out the discussion, here. And try conducting the same searches yourself; then try with "men", rather than "women."

A feeder-gainer couple.

in , ,

From the Daily Mail:

'I force-feed myself 5,000 calories a day through a funnel': Meet the 23-year-old desperate to reach 30st - so that men with a fat fetish will PAY to watch her eat
  • Tammy Jung, 23, is increasing her weight by over 3st every 6 months
  • She currently weighs 16st - halfway to her goal weight of 30st
  • She spends £70 a day on takeaways
  • Encourages her boyfriend to pour milkshakes down her throat with a funnel
  • Already earns £1,000 a month online, some people pay to watch her eating

Lots of young women are thinking about gym visits or diets right now to prepare their bikini bodies for the summer months ahead.

But one 23-year-old is doing the complete opposite and force feeding herself - often through a funnel - in a bid to become as fat as possible.

Tammy Jung was once a healthy eight-stone teenager who wore skinny jeans, loved playing volleyball and going out with friends.

But in a bizarre reversal of a crash diet, Tammy has decided that she wants to put on a lot of weight as quickly as possible, and spends her days indoors eating buckets of fried chicken, boxes of doughnuts and whole blocks of cheese.

She even allows boyfriend Johan Ubermen, 28, to pour ice cream milkshakes down her throat in an attempt to ingest 5,000 calories a day.

Tammy's frightening diet has seen her weight soar by over 3st every six months, and she now weighs over 16st - just over halfway to her goal weight.

The once svelte young woman is piling on the pounds to earn money as a Big Beautiful Woman on internet websites and hopes to one day top 30st.

Tammy, who already has fat-loving male fans from around the world, has been warned she is putting her health at risk and shortening her life.

But the determined young 'gainer' celebrates every pound she adds and insists she doesn't care about damaging her body.

She said: 'I've never been happier than I am working to put on weight - nothing will stop me achieving my dream.

'I know it's controversial but it's no one else's business - eating makes me happy.

'I'm making lots of money doing what I love - and I want to make even more.

'As far as I'm concerned there is no such thing as too big.'

Aided by her 'feeder' boyfriend Johan, Tammy's daily diet includes up to 30 doughnuts as well as stacks of pancakes and waffles.

The couple can spend up to £70 a day on takeaways and junk food to fuel Tammy's mammothappetite.

Tammy said: 'I start the day with a huge breakfast of waffles, cream cheese, bacon and sausage then head to McDonalds for a few burgers in the afternoon.

'I can snack on cheese all day, a couple of blocks is no problem, then for dinner I'll either eat pizzas or make Mexican food.

'At the end of the day I make a weight gain shake from heavy whipped cream and a whole tub of ice cream, which Yohan feeds me through a funnel.

'The funnel forces me to drink the shake even when I'm full after a day of eating.'

As a teenager, Tammy played volley ball and football and weighed a healthy eight stone, but felt insecure despite her healthy frame.

She said: 'I used to be self-conscious about my appearance. I always thought I was fat and had low self esteem.

'After I gave up sports, I began putting on weight. At first I was in denial. But one day I looked in the mirror and realised I was fat - and I felt great about it.

'My body looks so sexy and I feel more womanly the heavier I get.'

With a Body Mass Index (BMI) of 45, 5ft 2" Tammy is almost twice the average for a woman her size.

Tammy even films herself eating on camera for her army of online fans.

She said: 'I get a lot of requests to eat and weigh myself on camera. Some guys even send me scripts so I know what to say.

'I can make up to £1,000 a month if I work at it, and I'm hoping to earn more the bigger I get.'

Johan, her boyfriend of eight months, doesn't worry about the attention from other men.

He said: 'I noticed early on that she really likes to eat and was eating more than me when we went for dinner - I was impressed.

'I would love her no matter what she looked like.'

Incredibly, Tammy's family have no idea what she does for a living - or that her weight gain is deliberate.

She said: 'My family have noticed that I am putting on weight but they still don't know I'm doing it on purpose.

'They probably wouldn't agree with it but I'm making a living and supporting myself.'

Dr Claude Matar, of the Pasadena Weight Loss Center, said: 'It's very straightforward, she is causing her life to be shorter. She is taking the risk of dying early.'

See the rest of the photos here.

And the corresponding video:

Big Beautiful Woman: Funnel Feeder BBW Wants To Be The Fattest Woman In The World SUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/Oc61Hj Big Beautiful Woman model Tammy Jung force feeds herself every day with a funnel in a bid to become an internet star.


MAC Cosmetics' Strength campaign.

in , ,

Earlier this year, MAC Cosmetics released Strength, a new marketing campaign featuring a woman named Jelena Abbou. Ms. Abbou is a figure competitor (similar to bodybuilding, but less emphasis on being huge) and as such is much more muscular that your typical model. MAC has been receiving tons of positive feedback about their choice to feature her.

From Jezebel:

MAC Put A Female Bodybuilder In A Makeup Ad And It’s Beautiful

When I first saw this ad for MAC's new "Strength" collection, it kind of stopped my in my browsing tracks. What an incredible figure that woman has — and what a striking image for a mainstream cosmetics brand to choose as an advertisement.

The woman in the photo is named Jelena Abbou. She is a Serbian-American competitive body builder and fitness model, and she is fucking impressive to look at. I really like seeing her in a makeup ad. Hers is a body that is so different from the usual physical ideal that is shoved down women's throats — the slim, uniformly "toned" but not muscular, waifish model body that we see in every other ad and magazine and T.V. show aimed at women. There's a pretty strong social stigma against women who are "too" muscular, as Samantha Escobar explainsaptly here:

We all know that our society often fat shames people they deem overweight and sometimes body shame those declared too thin, but many men and women consider very muscular women to be "gross" or "unappealing." I find this strange, since — while I don't remotely condone it — fat and thin shamers tend to at least cite health as a typical reason for being assholes. When it comes to insulting muscular females, this logic makes no sense; typically, those women work out frequently and eat incredibly well in order to achieve the bodies they have. Why insult them?

Well-developed muscles are the embodiment of strength, and our culture doesn't value physical strength in women. It might even be a little suspicious of it. A man with a six-pack is supposed to be sexy; a woman with a six-pack is supposed to be "mannish." That stigma is why it's so shocking to see Abbou in a cosmetics ad: she's styled and photographed in a way that glamourizes her and highlights her beauty and her femininity, but the ad also does not camouflage or attempt to minimize her incredible body. (Which is the usual treatment that athletes, particularly female athletes, get in fashion photography — for reference, just consider any time Vogue picks a lovely, slender, female athlete to be in a fashion spread.) In fact, Abbou's muscular arms are the focus of this picture. That's what makes this ad so striking, and so incredibly beautiful.

Here's the copy from MAC that goes with the campaign:

I am a women: fearless, elegant, strong. We love women who strike powerful poses, stand out, redefine the notion of beauty…and do it with an inner/outer strength that’s irresistible and impossible to ignore. Colour is a vehicle for a women to flex their femininity and MAC’s New collection reflects this state of mind and style. It starts with dramatic eyes defined by two Eye Shadow Quads that sculpt and highlight, precision Penultimate Eye-Liner and extra-volumizing Opulash. Lips plump up with vivid colour to project power while Powder Blush in Natural Tones softly chisels cheeks. And, nailing it for overall presentation, MAC’s High Gloss Nail Lacquer.

While I think it's fantastic that MAC has chosen a very obviously muscular woman as the face of their new campaign (and she is very attractive), there's something about it that also bugs me. Perhaps it's the insidious nature of this type of advertising - i.e., MAC is trying to win customers over by appearing progressive, while still promoting a very specific beauty ideal. Or perhaps it's because it's MAC, a company that depends on vanity to make money (not that we're not all vain, mind you). Maybe it's also that Ms. Abbous fake breasts also seem to contradict the idea being promoted here - i.e., that there is more than one beauty ideal. Or possibly it's the fact that Ms. Abbou is still conventionally very beautiful, despite being muscular. Or maybe I'm just full of beans. Feel free to tell me so.

Here's a video clip of Ms. Abbou in action:

Jelena Abbou is a beautiful fitness model. There is just something about her that makes you do a double take. Wow! She is an IFBB Pro as well as a Fitness Model who has been on the cover of numerous magazines inclduing, Oxygen, Muscle & Fitness Hers, Natural Bodybuilding, Womens Exercise, Flex, Planet M and others.


The Nu Project.

in , ,

Passed along by Madeline a couple of years ago (thanks!).

From the homepage (NSFW link):

Thank you for being here. The Nu Project is a series of honest nudes of normal women from all over the world. The project began in 2005 and has stayed true to the original vision: no professional models, minimal makeup and no glamour. The focus of the project has been and continues to be the subjects and their personalities, spaces, insecurities and quirks.

To date, over 100 women across North and South America have participated in the project. Without their courage, confidence and trust, none of this would have been possible. We are so thankful for their willingness to open their homes to us.

They're always looking for women to participate: link.

To see the galleries (NSFW!), click here, here and here.

Young people in Japan losing interest in sex?

in , ,

From the Guardian:

Why have young people in Japan stopped having sex? What happens to a country when its young people stop having sex? Japan is finding out… Abigail Haworth investigates.

Ai Aoyama is a sex and relationship counsellor who works out of her narrow three-storey home on a Tokyo back street. Her first name means "love" in Japanese, and is a keepsake from her earlier days as a professional dominatrix. Back then, about 15 years ago, she was Queen Ai, or Queen Love, and she did "all the usual things" like tying people up and dripping hot wax on their nipples. Her work today, she says, is far more challenging. Aoyama, 52, is trying to cure what Japan's media callssekkusu shinai shokogun, or "celibacy syndrome".

Japan's under-40s appear to be losing interest in conventional relationships. Millions aren't even dating, and increasing numbers can't be bothered with sex. For their government, "celibacy syndrome" is part of a looming national catastrophe. Japan already has one of the world's lowest birth rates. Its population of 126 million, which has been shrinking for the past decade, is projected to plunge a further one-third by 2060. Aoyama believes the country is experiencing "a flight from human intimacy" – and it's partly the government's fault.

The sign outside her building says "Clinic". She greets me in yoga pants and fluffy animal slippers, cradling a Pekingese dog whom she introduces as Marilyn Monroe. In her business pamphlet, she offers up the gloriously random confidence that she visited North Korea in the 1990s and squeezed the testicles of a top army general. It doesn't say whether she was invited there specifically for that purpose, but the message to her clients is clear: she doesn't judge.

Inside, she takes me upstairs to her "relaxation room" – a bedroom with no furniture except a double futon. "It will be quiet in here," she says. Aoyama's first task with most of her clients is encouraging them "to stop apologising for their own physical existence".

The number of single people has reached a record high. A survey in 2011 found that 61% of unmarried men and 49% of women aged 18-34were not in any kind of romantic relationship, a rise of almost 10% from five years earlier. Another study found that a third of people under 30had never dated at all. (There are no figures for same-sex relationships.) Although there has long been a pragmatic separation of love and sex in Japan – a country mostly free of religious morals – sex fares no better. A survey earlier this year by the Japan Family Planning Association (JFPA) found that 45% of women aged 16-24 "were not interested in or despised sexual contact". More than a quarter of men felt the same way.

Read the rest here.

Men on why vaginas are important.

in ,

Description:

Connecticut College has participated in V-Day, the global activist movement to end violence against women and girls for 11 years, hosting productions of "The Vagina Monologues" on campus to raise awareness and funds. Through these benefits performances, we have donated $65,922 to local anti violence organizations. This year, I reached out to men as part of V-Day's One Billion Rising For Justice campaign.

www.onebillionrising.org

A Call To Action: As Producer of the 2014 Connecticut College Vaginas Monologues, I asked 100 men "Why are vaginas important to you?" to raise awareness for The Connecticut College Vagina Monologues, Domestic Violence Awareness Month and Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

A Call To Action: Alia Roth '14, producer of the 2014 Connecticut College Vaginas Monologues, asked 100 men "Why are vaginas important to you?" to raise awareness for The Connecticut College Vagina Monologues, Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and ignite a dialogue amongst young people about the language of consent and role they can play in ending sexual assault and gender based violence.


More on the meaning of slut.

in , ,

From the Huffington Post:

The Truth About Being a Slutty Slut

by Stefanie Williams

I am a slut. A slutty slut slut. So say a lot of people. People who read my blog and disagree with its premise. People who don't like me. Women who think sex is gross. Guys who want the girl you bring home to mom and think because I talk openly about sex, I don't like family dinners or moms.

There are loads of reasons they think that. I've slept with a couple guys. More than 10. More than 20. Want to keep guessing? I wrote about a lot of my sex life. Shared personal stories because I did and still do believe not only do I write well, but that it's a good story. One that I still believe has a happy ending somewhere in all the messed up tragedy between all the hate e-mail I can count and having a note left on my mother's car at a train station parking lot that said "I hope you're proud of the slut you raised."

[...]

Because the slutty slut never wins, you see. The girls who have pictures leaked, never win. They lose their jobs, they lose their reputations. They are humiliated, shamed. Of their bodies. Apologizing, for being sexual privately. For the things we do in the privacy of our bedrooms that we all aren't and shouldn't be doing but apparently are because hey, there are nine billion people on this planet and they got here somehow. Sabbith sits in a dark room and says, "I want to die." Because she let her boyfriend take pictures, and he released them. Pictures not of her murdering puppies, or punching toddlers, or raping old people. Pictures of herself. Her body. The stuff that exists under her clothes. The body parts that are somehow more offensive than her toes.

Then came Maggie. Maggie said everything I've been saying for years. "What's wrong with being a slut?"

We all fear this label. And the ironic part is, most of us (and maybe I'm wrong here but I'm pretty sure I'm not) do the slutty slut stuff. We take pics. We sext. We sleep with our boyfriends. Husbands. We give blowjobs. We get naked. We have vaginas. We use them. Some of us, sometimes, even enjoy using them. We have boobs and nipples and butts. Which clearly we should all be ashamed of. Because we're the only ones doing it. You hear me, every woman on the planet? You are the only one doing what you're doing with that guy (or girl, or worse, BOTH). And it is so, so, incredibly hurtful and wrong and shameful. What? You wanna know why? Oh. Because... slutty slut?

Read the rest here.