Dr. Jason Winters
Registered Psychologist
Sex Therapist
Attitudes
I mentioned Wrenna in class when discussing vulval dissatisfaction and the rapidly growing prevalence of labiaplasty. Wrenna was a student in the class back in 2010, which was also when she was wrapping up her project, I'll Show You Mine. I've posted about her and her project on the blog a few times since: here, here, and here. She recently did an interview with Options for Sexual Health. Here's that interview:
Wrenna Robertson talks to Options for Sexual Health about her book, I'll Show You Mine, which contains a diversity of photographs of the genitals of 60 women and stories about each woman's relationship with her genitals. Watch the video to hear about the transformative effect that the book had on Wrenna, the women involved and those that pick it up.
Much more about the project here.
This entire story is mind-boggling (from various sources, including the SLOG and Meherin - thanks!). The back story: Ellen Degeneris, who is a hugely successful media star, was chosen by JC Penny's to be their spokesperson. Ellen is openly gay, which raised the ire of a group who call themselves One Million Moms (even though they more likely number in the 10s of thousands). One Million Moms came out swinging and tried to start a massive boycott of JC Penny. It blew up in their collective faces. Apparently the American public, at least the millions of Ellen fans, didn't agree with the boycott and threw their support behind both Ellen and JC Penny. In the process, One Million Moms has gone down in flames. Here's their website, if you're interested: link.
Ellen had this to say to her foes:
Since the announcement that Ellen would be a new spokesperson for JCPenney, there's been an outpouring of support. There have also been a handful of critics. Ellen addressed them head-on in her monologue.
Howard Stern, whose not really known for being the most politically correct sort of dude, also came to Ellen's defence. Here's the clip from his radio show (NSFW language):
Taken from Stern Show Feb 6th 2012
In response to Howard Stern's comments, Dan Savage of Savage Love had this to say:
I can't count the number of times I've defended figures like Howard Stern and Bill Maher—straight entertainers who 1. fully support gay rights but 2. sometimes tell jokes that sensitivos consider homophobic. These guys are on our side and they're good for our side. Yeah, sometimes the tell jokes or do bits that are rooted in what is clearly their own personal discomfort with/fear of gay sex, particularly that man-on-man buttsex they never tire of hearing about, obsessing about, joking about, etc. But you know what? There are a lot of people out there who oppose gay rights because they're uncomfortable with gay sex and a lot of these folks—and lots of them are the kinds of guys who listen to Stern—are convinced that their own personal discomfort with gay sex requires them to oppose gay rights. What the Sterns and Mahers demonstrate is that you can be a little uncomfortable with gay sex—you can even have sense of humor about your discomfort, you can even tell the occasional joke about it—and still support the full civil equality of LGBT people.
Subscribe to our channel: http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=anderson Randy Wilson explains the ball was started in 1998 as a fatherhood event. http://www.andersoncooper.com http://www.twitter.com/anderson http://www.facebook.com/anderson http://anderson.tumblr.com http://www.youtube.com/anderson To find out when "Anderson" airs in your town, go to AndersonCooper.com.
Subscribe to our channel: http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=anderson Jessica Valenti, (http://jessicavalenti.com/) Founder of Feministing.com (http://feministing.com/) and author of three books, created the documentary film "The Purity Myth," in which she explored the cultural phenomenon of purity balls and the effect it is having on young women, our culture and even politics.
Subscribe to our channel: http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=anderson The internet has taken an interest in 13-year-old Sarah, whose home video, "Slut Shaming and Why It's Wrong," went viral, causing a stir in the online feminist community.
Subscribe to our channel: http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=anderson More questions from the "Anderson" audience that you won't see on the show. http://www.andersoncooper.com http://www.twitter.com/anderson http://www.facebook.com/anderson http://anderson.tumblr.com http://www.youtube.com/anderson To find out when "Anderson" airs in your town, go to AndersonCooper.com.
From The Nerve:
Cynthia Nixon clarifies that whole "gay by choice" remark
Sex and the City star Cynthia Nixon caused an uproar in the LGBT community earlier this month for saying that for her, being gay was a choice — and that choice or not, no one should be discriminated against for their sexual orientation. Reactions varied: some cheered her words (I'm in that camp), others wondered why she didn't just say she was bisexual, and some said she was just giving fuel to bigots who work to undo all the progress made in the past decades on behalf of LGBT people in the U.S.
Well congratulations, people in the latter camp! You've successfully told someone who is not you how she should feel about her own sexuality. After the major browbeating she received, she clarified her statements to The Advocate:
"My recent comments in The New York Times were about me and my personal story of being gay... However, to the extent that anyone wishes to interpret my words in a strictly legal context I would like to clarify:
While I don't often use the word, the technically precise term for my orientation is bisexual. I believe bisexuality is not a choice, it is a fact. What I have 'chosen' is to be in a gay relationship."
Frankly, I think it's embarrassing for the LGBT community that Nixon had to do this. For one thing, interpreting her words to mean that being gay is a choice for everyone is a flagrant and intentional misreading of the text. (I mean, she literally says she is only talking about herself.) And for another: she's right! "Don't discriminate against gays because homosexuality is not a choice" is a shitty argument; it implies that we'd, you know, be straight and normal if we could but, oops! Looks like we're stuck this way, so please don't gay-bash us. No one says, "Don't discriminate against black people because being black isn't a choice;" you don't discriminate against black people because they're people and the color of your skin says nothing about your character or worth as a human being.
If homosexuality is a choice for some people — some — why should that change anything? You still don't get to dictate the consensual sexual activities or identities of anyone other than yourself. (And you certainly don't get to deny them rights because of it.) Nixon wasn't wrong, and the fact that people have harangued her into saying something about her own life and identity they find more palatable is a shame.
This is the excerpt from the New York Times article that started the controversy:
Nixon manages to keep a similarly cleareyed perspective on her relationship with Marinoni, despite the titillation it has caused in the tabloid media. She has less tolerance for the skepticism she says her relationship has sparked among some gay activists who find her midlife switch in sexual orientation disingenuous.
“I totally reject that,” she said heatedly. “I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’ And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice. And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me. A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not.” Her face was red and her arms were waving. “As you can tell,” she said, “I am very annoyed about this issue. Why can’t it be a choice? Why is that any less legitimate? It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate. I also feel like people think I was walking around in a cloud and didn’t realize I was gay, which I find really offensive. I find it offensive to me, but I also find it offensive to all the men I’ve been out with.”
Read the rest of the article here.
Click on the following links for more information about Ms. Nixon and sexual orientation (thanks Madeline!):
What Cynthia Nixon Is Teaching Us About Sexuality
Lane: The Best Choice I Ever Made, or Why Queer Is Revolutionary
What does it mean for gay rights if homosexuality can be a choice? (radio)
Michele Bachmann showed her titanium spine at a cozy town hall meeting at the Waverly Pizza Ranch Wednesday. In a true small-town spirit, she kept her introductory remarks short, giving her audience an opportunity to quiz her on issues of interest to them, and even held the microphone so her supporters' voices could be heard as audibly as hers.
From Reuters:
Pope Benedict said Monday that gay marriage was one of several threats to the traditional family that undermined "the future of humanity itself."
The pope made some of his strongest comments against gay marriage in a new year address to the diplomatic corps accredited to the Vatican in which he touched on some economic and social issues facing the world today.
He told diplomats from nearly 180 countries that the education of children needed proper "settings" and that "pride of place goes to the family, based on the marriage of a man and a woman."
"This is not a simple social convention, but rather the fundamental cell of every society. Consequently, policies which undermine the family threaten human dignity and the future of humanity itself," he said.
The Vatican and Catholic officials around the world have protested against moves to legalize gay marriage in Europe and other developed parts of the world.
One leading opponent of gay marriage in the United States is New York Archbishop Timothy Dolan, whom the pope will elevate to cardinal next month.
Dolan fought against gay marriage before it became legal in New York state last June, and in September he sent a letter to President Barack Obama criticizing his administration's decision not to support a federal ban on gay marriage.
In that letter Dolan, who holds the powerful post of president of the U.S. Bishops Conference, said such a policy could "precipitate a national conflict between church and state of enormous proportions."
The Roman Catholic Church, which has some 1.3 billion members worldwide, teaches that while homosexual tendencies are not sinful, homosexual acts are, and that children should grow up in a traditional family with a mother and a father.
Read more here.
From CTV, via Options for Sexual Health:
Volunteers at a Surrey Christian charity are warning women about risks of abortion that may be common in back-alley operations but are rare in modern Canadian clinics, a CTV News hidden camera investigation has revealed.
Warnings of catastrophically scarred uteruses that would leave a woman infertile are not realistic in a legal abortion, doctors say, but that was one of the risks discussed with a volunteer counsellor at the South Fraser Pregnancy Options Centre.
"Thankfully that's a rare condition in Canada in modern times," medical ethicist Dr. Dan Reilly told CTV News in an interview where the footage was discussed. "It's something you would see more in a place where abortions are being done not in a medical setting."
The Crisis Pregnancy Centre in Vancouver and the Surrey Pregnancy Options Centre in Surrey are both affiliated with the Canadian Association of Pregnancy Support Services, which operates about 80 such centres in Canada, serving an estimated 6,800 people a year.
But some providers of sexual health services have expressed concerns that these centres aren't giving women the full story.
To learn more about the advice offered by the charity, CTV News sent staff member Sheila with a hidden camera to the Christian group's centres in B.C.'s two biggest cities to pose as a pregnant woman in her first trimester with some questions.
During her two visits, Sheila heard that abortion is associated with risks ranging from breast cancer to depression to fetal body parts forgotten inside the womb.
Read the rest of the article here.
You can watch the CTV hidden camera investigation here: part 1 - part 2.
The program has since been suspended. Read about it here.
This locally-made video has gone viral, culminating with an appearance on Anderson Cooper's show:
Seven Days Seven Topics - Day Uno (August 20th, 2011) While I am fully aware that this is a bit of an unorthodox topic for a then-thirteen-now-fourteen year old to be talking about, it's an issue close to my heart, as some of my friends have been slut-shamed despite having never had sex.
Sh*t Homophobic People Say: no spoofing necessary, 100% real commentary by antigay public figures. Lambda Legal fights for the rights of LGBT people and people with HIV. Follow us on Twitter @lambdalegal and visit http://www.lambdalegal.org to learn more!
For those of you not familiar with American politics, the Republicans are much like the Conservatives here in Canada, only they're more extreme in terms of their ideology. Republicans almost universally oppose same-sex marriage, so Republican politicians like this are very rare (and very courageous):
June 24, 2011 - Senator Mark Grisanti speaks on same sex marriage bill in Senate Session
From Kate or Die, via Katie West:
Not all dudes who do this are creeps - many just don't get it. Someone needs to teach a class in reading non-verbal cues (i.e., body language, silence, etc.), erring on the side of being less creepy rather than more creepy, the cultural context of men hitting on women, and how to tell if someone is really not interested (although it's not always obvious).
As a follow-up to the email and poem sent along by Chantel, showing that the Victorian era may not have been as sexually repressive as I painted it to be, I did a little more digging around and discovered the novel, Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure (popularly known as Fanny Hill). It is considered the first prose pornography ever published, at least in the English world. The author, John Cleland, wrote Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure while in debtor's prison. The novel, which was published in two instalments, is a series of explicit letters written by a very young woman (15) to another woman.
Here's an representative excerpt from the book:
...and now, disengag’d from the shirt, I saw, with wonder and surprise, what? not the play-thing of a boy, not the weapon of a man, but a maypole of so enormous a standard, that had proportions been observ’d, it must have belong’d to a young giant. Its prodigious size made me shrink again; yet I could not, without pleasure, behold, and even ventur’d to feel, such a length, such a breadth of animated ivory! perfectly well turn’d and fashion’d, the proud stiffness of which distended its skin, whose smooth polish and velvet softness might vie with that of the most delicate of our sex, and whose exquisite whiteness was not a little set off by a sprout of black curling hair round the root, through the jetty sprigs of which the fair skin shew’d as in a fine evening you may have remark’d the clear light ether through the branchwork of distant trees over-topping the summit of a hill: then the broad and blueish-cast incarnate of the head, and blue serpentines of its veins, altogether compos’d the most striking assemblage of figure and colours in nature. In short, it stood an object of terror and delight.
But what was yet more surprising, the owner of this natural curiosity, through the want of occasions in the strictness of his home-breeding, and the little time he had been in town not having afforded him one, was hitherto an absolute stranger, in practice at least, to the use of all that manhood he was so nobly stock’d with; and it now fell to my lot to stand his first trial of it, if I could resolve to run the risks of its disproportion to that tender part of me, which such an oversiz’d machine was very fit to lay in ruins.
Chantel emailed this after class last week (thanks!):
I didn't want to get too much into it in yesterday's lecture but the 16th- 18th Centuries were more sexually liberated than you think. Besides Henry VIII and his countless affairs (think Anne Boleyn, which lead to the break from the Catholic church), there was The Earl of Rochester and Aphra Behn, who both published poems about impotent men (Rochester's being the more crude of the two). I thought I'd pass them along in case you were interested, Behn's is longer and requires more deciphering but Rochester's is easy to understand and really funny.
The Imperfect Enjoyment By John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester
Naked she lay, clasped in my longing arms, I filled with love, and she all over charms; Both equally inspired with eager fire, Melting through kindness, flaming in desire. With arms, legs, lips close clinging to embrace, [5] She clips me to her breast, and sucks me to her face. Her nimble tongue, Love's lesser lightening, played Within my mouth, and to my thoughts conveyed Swift orders that I should prepare to throw The all-dissolving thunderbolt below. [10] My fluttering soul, sprung with the painted kiss, Hangs hovering o'er her balmy brinks of bliss. But whilst her busy hand would guide that part Which should convey my soul up to her heart, In liquid raptures I dissolve all o'er, [15] Melt into sperm, and spend at every pore. A touch from any part of her had done't: Her hand, her foot, her very look's a cunt.
Smiling, she chides in a kind murmuring noise, And from her body wipes the clammy joys, [20] When, with a thousand kisses wandering o'er My panting bosom, "Is there then no more?" She cries. "All this to love and rapture's due; Must we not pay a debt to pleasure too?"
But I, the most forlorn, lost man alive, [25] To show my wished obedience vainly strive: I sigh, alas! and kiss, but cannot swive. Eager desires confound my first intent, Succeeding shame does more success prevent, And rage at last confirms me impotent. [30] Ev'n her fair hand, which might bid heat return To frozen age, and make cold hermits burn, Applied to my dead cinder, warms no more Than fire to ashes could past flames restore. Trembling, confused, despairing, limber, dry, [35] A wishing, weak, unmoving lump I lie. This dart of love, whose piercing point, oft tried, With virgin blood ten thousand maids have dyed; Which nature still directed with such art That it through every cunt reached every heart — [40] Stiffly resolved, 'twould carelessly invade Woman or man, nor aught its fury stayed: Where'er it pierced, a cunt it found or made — Now languid lies in this unhappy hour, Shrunk up and sapless like a withered flower. [45]
Thou treacherous, base deserter of my flame, False to my passion, fatal to my fame, Through what mistaken magic dost thou prove So true to lewdness, so untrue to love? What oyster-cinder-beggar-common whore [50] Didst thou e'er fail in all thy life before? When vice, disease, and scandal lead the way, With what officious haste dost thou obey! Like a rude, roaring hector in the streets Who scuffles, cuffs, and justles all he meets, [55] But if his king or country claim his aid, The rakehell villain shrinks and hides his head; Ev'n so thy brutal valour is displayed, Breaks every stew, does each small whore invade, But when great Love the onset does command, [60] Base recreant to thy prince, thou dar'st not stand. Worst part of me, and henceforth hated most, Through all the town a common fucking-post, On whom each whore relieves her tingling cunt As hogs do rub themselves on gates and grunt, [65] May'st thou to ravenous chancres be a prey, Or in consuming weepings waste away; May strangury and stone thy days attend; May'st thou ne'er piss, who did refuse to spend When all my joys did on false thee depend. [70]
And may ten thousand abler pricks agree To do the wronged Corinna right for thee.
Thanks Jess for passing this along!
A group of four women from Abbotsford run a blog called Confessions of a 29 Year Old Virgin (link here). From the blog:
We are 4 girls, living the life! A Life full of Passion, Love, Joy, Goodness and Purity! We haven't gotten to this point in our lives without our share of tears and laughter, so we want to tell you about it! Our lives are stories of Redemption and Goodness, Enjoy being brought into our lives by reading our hearts!
The blog caught the attention of TLC, and the four women are now featured in the show The Virgin Diaries. The show follows the stories of several virgins (some of who have supposedly reclaimed their virginity, despite having already had sex), waiting for marriage.
Here's a clip about the show from Ellen DeGeneres:
Miranda Nelson, of the Georgia Straight, had this to say about the posse of Abbotsford virgins:
Abbotsford virginity bloggers neglect to realize selling chastity is selling sex
Danielle Michaud, Amy Schmidt, Lisa Marziali, and Tamara Larson are virgins—and proud of it.
In fact, this quartet of Abbotsford women, who maintain the blog Confessions of a 29 Year Old Virgin, are so proud of being virgins that they've leveraged their chaste confessional into an appearance on a TLC reality show called The Virgin Diaries, in which they will date some dudes, men who are also virgins.
These women, all 29 or 30, have never had sex. Well, not exactly; one's a "born-again virgin", who says she's reclaimed her virginity. (Not sure where she reclaimed it from; is there some virginity coat check I don't know about?)
"We're in a culture filled with sex, where sex sells. And it's sold every day," Lisa Marziali told the National Post. "And we believe it shouldn't be sold."
Guess what, ladies? By selling virginity, you are selling sex. You are selling the idea that a woman's value is completely tied to what she's allowing—or not allowing—between her legs.
"Whether it's delivered through a virginity pledge or by a barely dressed tween pop singer writhing across the television screen, the message is the same: A woman's worth lies in her ability — or her refusal — to be sexual," Jessica Valenti writes in her 2009 book, The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession With Virginity Is Hurting Young Women.
"We're just looking for a guy who has a heart after God, and who is man enough to pursue us," said Marziali, who confessed that she's already nicknamed her future saviour, I mean husband: "The Rock Star".
Read the rest of the not-particularly-supportive article here.
This is the documentary that I mentioned in class.
An look at America's purity movement. The purity movement involves girls pledging to remain a virgin until their wedding day. Cutting Edge explores the purity movement in America, where one girl in every six pledges to remain a virgin, or to save her first kiss, until her wedding day.
From the NY Daily News, and reported all over the place:
During the pep rally, several captains of the school’s sport teams were lined up against a wall in the gymnasium, wearing blindfolds.
They were told they would be kissed by a “special someone,” ABC News reported, not knowing that person would be their parent.
The video shows one woman, presumed to be the mother of the blindfolded boy with whom she’s locking lips, grabbing her son’s hand and placing it in the back pocket of her jeans.
Another student, after an unknowing makeout session with his mother, was asked if he knew who his kissing partner was. All he knew, he said, is that she had “luscious lips.”
While flooded without outside complaints, Wollersheim told the Associated Press that he had received no objections from the school’s athletes or parents.
In fact, he’s gotten some positive feedback, he said.
“I think people need to have more of a sense of humor! Kudos to you for all that you do – as I do not feel as a parent there was anything offensive about the video,” wrote one person in an email, which Wollersheim shared with the news service.
Still, Wollersheim understands the gravity of the concern sparked by the video.
“As principal, I’m responsible for everything that happens in this school,” he said. “This event offended people, and pep fests should have nothing that offends people.”
Read the rest of the article here.
And, of course, the video:
Just watch and see. This is the original video.
Passed along by Rayka (thanks!):
Case study
